


Hell's Kitchen

by Le0na



Category: Ao no Exorcist | Blue Exorcist, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Art, Crossover, Demons, Dimension Travel, Gen, Humor, I did an art, I tried to research stuff before writing this, Mythology - Freeform, No real gore, Not Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie) Compliant, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Tony adopts a random kid off the street crossover fic, We have art now!, some violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-10
Updated: 2019-01-07
Packaged: 2019-01-31 10:18:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 27
Words: 37,669
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12679875
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Le0na/pseuds/Le0na
Summary: When Tony Stark falls from the sky (just another typical Tuesday for him) he finds something unexpected: a moody teenager with some real skill in the kitchen. This kid just saved his life... and he's been needing a new cook anyways, so...On the teenagers part, he thinks he has some justification for his moodiness: he's far from home (another dimension far), with no friends but his familiar/cat, and is surrounded by people who can see demons. His tail is really getting cramped, dammit!





	1. Just another Tuesday

**Author's Note:**

> I couldn't find any crossovers for these fandoms that weren't multi-crossovers or just oneshots. So I did what I had to do.
> 
> Regular text is speech or thoughts in a human language, italics is demon speech or thoughts (or emphasis in human language, it'll be pretty clear when you read it).
> 
> POV will be established in the notes before each chapter, but you clever folks could probably figure it out anyways.
> 
> Rin POV

“Ya know,” I mused, “this place isn’t half bad.”

 

_“Isn’t half good either.”_

 

“Hn, I’ll give ya that one. Could be worse though.”

 

I looked out over the park, it wasn’t a bad place. But things were peaceful enough, for a New York park at least. Sure, the city buzz never stopped in the background, and I always needed to be on the lookout of muggers, but the view from the park bench -a.k.a. my bed for the past week- was fine enough. People were walking their dogs, the trees were out in full spring form, and except for that one little thing the sky was clear. Wait… what was that? I squinted, was it just me or was it getting bigger?

 

“Kuro, can ya tell me what that is? I think there’s some sort of weird glare and yer eyesight’s a little better than mine anyways.”

 

_"Sure! It looks like… a man?”_

 

What? I looked again and yup, it was definitely getting bigger, but… oh. I see it now. Yeah, that was a man falling from the sky. I think it says a lot about my life that that sort of thing didn’t even phase me anymore. Between finding out demons are real, exorcists are real, dad was the paladin, and that _I’m the bloody antichrist,_  not much can put a blip on the weirdness radar nowadays. Surprise detector, yes, but weirdness radar, it takes quite a bit.

 

“aaaaaa…”

 

He was getting close enough to hear. The humans probably wouldn’t be able to yet, but so it goes with demonic hearing.

 

“aaaAAAAA...”

 

Kuro and I hadn’t expected to be pulled through a portal, and we hadn’t expected to turn up anywhere that looks even _remotely_ like assiah, but we _certainly_ didn’t expect to turn up in a dimension with _s_ _uperheroes._ Honest to goodness superheroes.

 

And everyone here was just sort of _cool_ with it.

 

“AAAAAAAA!!!!!”

 

He was getting pretty close to the ground.

 

I should probably do something, but what? I couldn’t just run and catch him, it would attract too much attention and raise _questions_ . I may be impulsive, but even I knew that plan would backfire _horribly._

 

C’mon Rin, think. Remember what Yukio said, use yer head, _think…!_

 

That’s it!

 

_“Rin, what are you doing?”_

 

“Kuro, hold on tight!”

 

I had to time this just right, wait, wait… Now!

 

I tore across the turf, grass and soil flying as I made a beeline for where the man would be in a moment. Closer, did I time it right? Closer, was he going to crash before I got there? Just ten steps now, after? Five, no time to consider that now! Brace for impact!

 

SLAM!

 

I felt something crunch as we both went tumbling in opposite directions. Pain announced its presence with trumpets as I lay dazed on the ground. A human body should _not_ be that hard, or heavy. Yeah, he been falling pretty fast, but it was like I ran into a freakin’ anvil!

 

_“Rin?!”_

 

I reached up to try and soothe my aching head. Drums joined the trumpets.

 

“Ugh… remind me to never do that again.”

 

_The jubilant cry of “You’re okay!” was soon followed by a scratch to the cheek and a scolding “Don’t do that again!”_

 

I propped myself up on my elbows, forget the drums, the entire percussion section had joined in.

 

“Hey, I just asked ya to remind me not to!”

 

Kuro decided that the proper response to a valid point like that was to lick my forehead. _That_ was actually helpful, as the instruments in my head quieted a bit. Before I could formulate a response to that, a new voice joined in.

 

“Heh, I get struck by a bolt of lightning, fall out of the sky, and get rescued by the human bulldozer and his cat. Why is this still a fairly normal Tuesday for me?”

 

It was coming from the man I had just rescued, and who I now realized was wearing a suit of armor. That would explain the glare, and the weight, but pretty much nothing else.

 

“And am I concussed, or does that cat have horns?”

 

I sighed, flopping back to the ground.

 

That was the _other_ thing about this world. Apparently, _everyone_ can see demons. It made things… annoying, to say the least.

 

The good thing was that Kuro and I had formulated a solution for this situation specifically. He kept his tails together so they looked like one big one, and I lied.

 

“In order, I don’t know but it’s a definite possibility, and yes. They’re props.”

 

“Okay then, now that that’s settled… ergh!”

 

I looked over at the man. He seemed to be having some problems getting up, like his knees weren’t working or something. I hauled myself to my feet, picking up my hat as I did so and jamming it back over the tops of my ears. It was annoying, but it worked.

 

I stumbled over towards the man, still rather woozy from the tumble. As would anyone if they tried stopping someone’s fall by knocking them sideways. But he seemed at least conscious, so that meant not dead, which was good. Now if the world would just _dim a little_ and maybe _stop spinning,_ that would be much appreciated.

 

I dropped to my knees a few feet from the man, and held out my hand, which took. He hauled himself to his feet and looked down at me, now offering _his_ hand.

 

We shambled to the bench I had been sitting on earlier and sat down. Hard, if the clang and dent he left in the metal was any indication. We just sat there in silence for a few minutes, catching our breaths and clearing our heads.

 

It was just the sound of the city and our breathing until he broke the not exactly silence.

 

“Hey kid, thanks.”

 

I snorted. Well, that was one way to start a conversation.

 

“Yer welcome. If ya need help with falling out of the sky again, ya know where to fall.”

 

The man gave a barking laugh.

 

“Ha! You’ve got a sense of humor to go along with those muscles, don’t you?”

 

I shrugged, Kuro letting out an indignant _Hey!_ as his resting spot was jostled, maybe. My “sense of humor” was never really what people focused on when they were describing me, but he could think what he pleased.

 

“Eh, let’s go with that.” I clapped my hands once before clasping them together in front of my chest, “Anyways, if yer all set, I’m going to go. Got to try to find a job and such. Yer welcome to come if ya want.”

 

I’m _so_ glad I had taken English at school, but honestly, I had no idea what I was doing right now. I had no clue how to make small talk with this guy, heck, for all I know he could be some kind of eccentric billionaire or something! I just wanted to get out of this situation before it got awkward. But the man seemed to have other ideas.

 

“Hey! Wait a second!”

 

I turned to look at the man. He had gotten up from the bench.

 

“Ya coming?”

 

It was meant to be a joke, but he was looking at me with a more considering look than anything else. Like he was debating me in his head. What about me though I had no idea. Finally, he asked a question.

 

“You’re looking for a job you say?”

 

I raised an eyebrow and nodded. Yeah… I’m pretty sure I just said that. Why did he care, did he know of a place that was hiring?

 

He smirked.

 

“Come with me.”


	2. Hiring Malpractice

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys so much for the support. I wouldn't have been able to make this next chapter in general, much less get it so fast if it weren't for you lovely folks.
> 
> Tony POV

There were a few steps to the hiring process. They included putting out an ad, finding a person, vetting said person, hiring said person, giving that person some extra training if need be, and lastly, breaking the new employee in.

 

I had skipped steps one, three, four,  _ and _ five quite smoothly. They had been knocked off when the guy saved my life. I’m pretty sure anyone wishing me ill would have just let me die so, I had hired him on the spot.

 

And the best part was that he was  _ actually good _ in the kitchen! So, we didn’t even need to give him extra help, just point him in the direction of the kitchen.

 

Efficient, no? All that was left was the last step, the  _ fun _ one.

 

“Hey kid” 

 

“I have a  _ name. _ ”

 

“I know, but I can’t remember it. Besides, you know who I’m talking to.”

 

He gave a derisive snort.

 

“It’s Rin; and really not hard to remember.”

 

“Eh, hard enough. Plus, you’re fun to fluster.”

 

He really was. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a person with such a wide range of calming exercises. I’ve even been compiling a list of them. There’s someone with a few anger management issues who I think would probably appreciate it.

 

I peeked over his shoulder as he turned back to the counter where he was preparing…  _ something. _

 

“So, whatchya doing?”

 

He took a deep breath before answering. Another one for the list.

 

“ _ Trying _ to cook.”

 

“Oooh… whatchya cooking?”

 

“My breakfast.”

 

“I see, I see…”

 

“*Sigh* Were you the reason why the other chef quit?”

 

I shrugged. I had been among the numerous things on the list that guy had handed me before quitting. It seems like some people just can’t handle being in the presence of such amazingness for so long.

 

I suggested as much.

 

He groaned, his head hitting the counter. The cat -Kuro, I remembered. Now  _ that _ was a cool name- rubbed his furry head against Rin’s, purring from his perch on my new cook’s shoulder. Rin had declared on day one that the cat never left his side, not even in the kitchen. Huh, therapy cat, another one for the list. Yeah, it was odd, and I had raised an eyebrow at first, but so far there were no hairs in my food, so I didn’t mind. Besides, it wasn’t like that was the strangest thing in this building, heck on this  _ floor. _

 

But it worked for Rin, so there was that. He scratched the cat right between those fake horns. (Once again, odd, but not dangerous, so…)*

 

“Thanks buddy, but what have I gotten myself  _ into? _ ”

 

“The best job of your life?”

 

He lifted his head slightly and just glared back at me. Couldn’t think of a comeback for  _ that _ bit of truth Cat-boy? Ooh! That’s a good one!

 

“So Cat-boy,” I grinned, “this job offers room and board.” Heaven knows I have more than enough space for it in this place. “You need to tell someone where you’re gonna be for the foreseeable future, or are you gonna head home every night?”

 

I wasn’t really even teasing, it was a necessary question, and an innocuous one at that. So I was really rather confused when his head hit the table again. Was the nickname really that bad or… oh. Oh goodness, was he… at that age? I suppose I wasn’t  _ that _ uncommon, but… was he? It would explain why he took that bag wherever he went, and the cat, but I couldn’t be sure...

 

“No to both. And don’t call me Cat-boy.”

 

Okay, now I’m sure. His answer came out muffled and a bit strained, but it was more than enough to confirm my new suspicions. And now his  _ cat _ was the one glaring. I shuddered, something so small and fluffy should  _ not _ be able to be that scary; and that mixed with everything else, nope. Ok-ay then, time to stop poking the homeless… he wasn’t even an adult, was he? Not really.

 

I clasped my hands together and took a step back, hoping that he wasn’t noticing the fraying facade. Damn, I had no idea what to do here. Pepper was always better with kids. Time to make a tactical retreat.

 

“Okay, well then, I’ll just let you get to it. There are a couple people that you might run into around the tower, just don’t surprise or worry about them. If you need anything, directions, translations, instructions, just ask JARVIS. And if he’s not doing it for you, just ask Pepper. ‘K? K.”

 

As soon as I left the room, I went to find Pepper.

 

*o*o*o*

 

And find her I did. She was in the office, drinking a mug of tea with paperwork -or as I liked to call it now that she’s in charge, Pepperwork- spread out before her.

 

“Pepper, I need your help.”

 

She looked up from her Pepperwork.

 

“What did you do this time Tony?”

 

“I may or may not have hired a homeless teenager and his cat after they saved my life?”

 

“... what do you want me to do about that?”

 

“I don’t know! Just-?!”

 

I made a helpless gesture. I didn’t know, just -something!

 

She sighed, putting down the mug and up her hand in a “stop” motion.

 

“What position?”

 

“What?”

 

She sighed, rolling her eyes.

 

“What position did you hire him for?”

 

“He’s the new cook.”

 

“I see… was he responsible for this tea?”

 

What…?

 

“I don’t know. I didn’t ask him.”

 

“Well then, why don’t we?”

 

She pressed one of the many intercom buttons.

 

“Hello?”

 

“Who’s there?! Where are ya?!”

 

Wow, was not expecting that kind of reaction. Talk about defensive. Had he never used a intercom before? Or for that matter, heard of one?

 

Pepper raised an eyebrow at me, then turned her focus back on the cook.

 

“It’s just Mrs. Potts. I’m speaking to you over the intercom.”

 

“Oh, okay… what would ya like ma’am?”

 

“May I assume I am speaking to the new cook?”

 

“Yeah… that’s me. Why do you ask, ma’am?”

 

“Oh please,” She placated the unsure teen, “just call me Pepper. Anyone who saves this dork’s butt needn’t bother with that sort of formality. I was just calling to ask if you were the one responsible for the tea I’m currently enjoying.”

 

“The stuff in the green mug? Yeah, that’s mine. Why? Do you not like it?”

 

“No, no, it’s wonderful, I was just checking. You may go back to whatever you were doing. And don’t worry about the man in the vents. Have a nice day.”

 

She took her finger off the button then turned back to me. She tented her hands and rested her chin on them, staring straight at me.

 

“I fail to see the problem. So far, he seems like a fine young man. I’d like to meet him face-to-face at some point. Just let him get settled for a bit. If worst comes to worst, we can always just get another cook. It’ll be fine Tony.”

 

“Okay…” I was still unsure, but if Pepper said so, I suppose… Wait-

 

“Why did you warn him about Clint?”

 

Pepper shrugged.

 

“He doesn’t seem like the type to take surprises well.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Little does he know…


	3. Birdbrain vs. Catboy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They told you, don't worry about the man in the vents, and what's the first thing you do?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rin POV

For such a high tech, expensive building, the vents sure did make a lot of noise. They would creak and snap at odd hours, and whenever I tried bringing this up with Tony he just sniggered. Was I not in on some joke?

 

I soon learned, and like with so many things, I learned the hard way.

 

It was fairly early morning, and I was up preparing breakfast. No one would be up for a few hours. Heck, even Kuro was doing a half asleep impression of a scarf on my shoulder.

 

Or so I thought.

 

I was just finishing up when I felt something _move_ behind me. Now, I had been in enough fights -ranging from scrapes to full out battles- to have built up certain reflexes. One of which just so happened to be: don’t let anyone get behind you. This was paired with: if they do, get them _NOW!_

 

None of this was helped by the demonic instincts baying for blood every time said reflexes flared up.

 

I lashed out at the thing behind me before it had the chance to fully land. The person -the shape was human, not demon- sprung out of the way. It was back and forth. He was a flurry of punches. I leapt the counters, instincts screaming to rip the intruder apart. I can’t recall when, but at some point I took out the Koma sword. Something I _do_ remember though was landing a solid hit with the covered blade.

 

He retaliated by bringing out a bow. I didn’t know what he was doing at first. Reaching behind your back in a fight like this was a big no-no. I eagerly grabbed the opening, getting a string to my face for my troubles. All it took to unfurl the compact thing was a flick of his wrist. And apparently all it took to end the fight was the same.

 

He took advantage of my momentary dazing, and next thing I know was being pinned to the floor, hands drawn behind my back with knee on my spine. My shoulder was aching something fierce, I must have taken a blow without realizing it.

 

“Hey! What’s yer problem!?” I snapped.

 

“You.”

 

Of course it was, it always was. I began to feel my canines lengthening into full fangs. Stop that! I clenched my jaw, forcibly halting the painless burning in my mouth that always accompanied the transformation. Where was Kuro? I can’t hold if back forever!

 

“And. what’s. yer. problem. with. me?” I spoke through clenched teeth.

 

“You personally? I don’t know you; so nothing so far.”

 

That calm, cool tone was _really_ starting to annoy me. Luckily that was gone quick when he was yelping in pain.

 

_“Rin!”_

 

Kuro was up, and he was _furious._ And even under strict instructions not to show his larger form, he was still a formidable foe. More than formidable even. He was a _cat._

 

_“Get!”_

 

Slash! Bite! Slash again!

 

_“Off!”_

 

Maul! Tear! Get off of him!

 

_“Of!”_

 

Aim for the eyes! Hand blocks you? Get that!

 

_“Rin!”_

 

More than enough of an opening for me to take advantage of. I was up. The numb burning was spreading, my fingernails were starting to sharpen and lengthen. I curled them inwards, clenching the man’s shirt while pricking my palms to stop the growth.

 

I slammed the man against a wall, nearly snarling. My vision was tunneling, I barely recognised the feeling of Kuro leaping to my shoulder, hardly recognise his hissing. Scents became sharper, and I could feel a little blood trickle down my palms to stain the man’s collar. The part that told me to turn this intruder to ash was warring with the one vying to keep a secret, and my soul. Don’t kill him. Don’t kill him. Don’t ki-!

 

Footsteps, someone was coming. I had to _do_ something.

 

When Tony Stark entered the kitchen he was greeted by the sight of a scratched-up Clint Barton pinned against the wall and being threatened at (albeit sheathed) sword point. By his new cook. At five in the morning. He had a face on declaring a proudly pulled all nighter, which promptly morphed to amusement as he took in the scene before of him.

 

“Hey Legolas, Rin.”

 

Tony seemed _way_ to casual about the whole thing. Does this sort of thing happen often in New York; new employees assaulting people who drop from the ceiling? Or was it just a Tony thing? I figured that it was probably the latter, as the man -Legolas?- seemed to be praying for strength. It was something I was rather familiar with, as I got a lot in my younger years. It was… _satisfying_ to see someone not praying because of me.

 

“Tony, I take it you know this person?”

 

The billionaire grinned, he was _way_ to relaxed about this whole thing.

 

“Yup, that’s the cook I was telling you about.”

 

“You never said anything about a new cook.”

 

“Yeah I did, remember?”

 

“No, Tony, I don’t remember.” Legolas just seemed so _done_ with the situation. I could relate, sort of.

 

The painless burning was fading, with it some of my tension. My head was clear enough to speak now, and I wanted answers.

 

“So is Legolas a threat or not? Because I’m getting sick of holding him like this.”

 

Legolas gave Tony one of the flattest looks I’ve ever seen.

 

“It’s Clint.”

 

I rolled my eyes with a sharp exhale. _Fine!_

 

“Alright then, is _Clint_ a threat or not?”

 

“What do you think?”

 

I turned my ire to the smirking man.

 

“I _think,_ ” I almost growled, “that ya had better give me a straight answer or I’m just going to drop him and sic Kuro on the both of ya!”

 

Tony took a step back, his hands up in a motion of either surrender of placation, I couldn’t tell.

 

“Alright, alright. Clint here is one of those people I told you about the other day. Y’know, those ones I told you _not_ to surprise or worry about.”

 

“Hey! _He_ surprised _me._ He came down from the bloody _vents_ for goodness sake!”

 

Wait… something cut through the smoky haze of my emotions. She told me “don’t worry about the man in the vents.” Crap. I stiffened, my head dipping in worry.

 

“Are ya ‘the man in the vents’?”

 

“What?”

 

I sighed, lowering Clint back to the floor. It was too early for this.

 

“Pepper told me not to worry about a ‘man in the vents’. I’m going to assume that she was talking about ya.”

 

He nodded.

 

“Yeah.”

 

I sighed. I’d had enough of this. I’d just wanted to get some breakfast, but… I grabbed my plate from the counter and turned to the men.

 

“That’s it, come on Kuro. I’m going to bed.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If anyone can suggest a better title, I'll consider it.


	4. I have a therapist I could recommend...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, the title's a little misleading, there isn't actually a therapist in this chapter. There is a lot of talking though, and if these guys don't have a therapist on staff, I'd be surprised, to say the least.
> 
> If you would like to see a demon encounter a therapist (assuming I don't put one in a later chapter of this) you can check out chapter 3 of "Show and Tell", a BATIM fic of mine.
> 
> Pepper POV

“Ah, good. You’re here.”

 

I looked up from my paperwork to see Clint Barton hanging halfway out of the vents.Upside down.

 

“You do know someone has to screw those back in every time, right?”

 

He shrugged -an odd thing to witness from someone hanging upside down- and clambered down to stand expectantly in front of my desk.

 

“Is there something you would like?”

 

“Maybe, but more to the point there’s something _you_ should _see._ ”

 

I put the forms down, giving the spy my full attention and the “continue” gesture.

 

“Pull up the security cam footage from 4:00 yesterday morning.”

 

A simple task… done.

 

“Okay, now watch this.”

 

Okay, the new cook was an early riser. What of it… oh. What? What?! How… no. What was? Ugh, Tony… fine.

 

I turned to Clint, somber.

 

“What do we do about this.”

 

“Well first of all, keep it close to the chest. I’m not going to tell anybody outside this tower. I trust you won’t either?”

 

I nodded.

 

“I’ll make sure Tony knows the plan too. He’ll listen to me.”

 

“Good. And we can’t fire the guy either. Something is definitely going on here; we need to know what.”

 

I nodded, again.

 

“I wasn’t planning on firing him anyways.”

 

There was a pause as we both thought on the situation for a moment. Something else needed to happen, but what?

 

Clint figured it out first.

 

“... I think we should have a chat with him.”

 

“Agreed.”

 

*o*o*

 

“Rin, it has come to my attention that you assaulted a tenant of this building.”

 

The boy winced, curling up a bit on himself.

 

“It was an accident.”

 

“Hn, perhaps. We shall see.”

 

I flicked on the projector and played yesterdays footage. You couldn’t really make out what people were saying as the camera was pointed at their backs, but it was more than enough to make out the fight. Having already reviewed the footage with Clint, I watched the chef’s reaction. Rin, for his part, seemed both entranced and horrified by it. He twitched every time a blow connected, regardless of the side.

 

By the time it was over he wouldn’t even look at me. Alright then, I need some answers, so some good news first.

 

“Out of all the places to get into a fight with a tenant, this one is probably the best.”

 

His head snapped back to me, confused.

 

“Every single person here has _some_ form or another of training in taking out an assailant without harming them.”

 

At this he raised an eyebrow.

 

Is he not aware of who he’s working for?... Nevermind, I’ll ask him later.

 

“What’s more troubling though, is that bag.”

 

His hand went to the strap across his chest in a seemingly unconscious motion. His cat jumped to his shoulder.

 

“We have a few weapons experts on staff, and they all tell the same story; that bag holds a sword.”

 

He was silent a few seconds before answering.

 

“It’s an heirloom.”

 

“Really?” I said, tone the same as when I needed Tony to really _think_ something over.

 

“Yes!” He protested, desperate. Though whether it was to be believed or to keep the heirloom was yet to be seen. Kuro began to his shoulder, and he visibly relaxed. “If it makes ya feel any better, I’ve sworn to never draw it.”

 

“Have you now?”

 

“Yeah,” He jabbed a thumb at the cat sitting on the floor, “Kuro can attest to that one.”

 

I raised an eyebrow.

 

“Your cat?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

I huffed a sigh through my nose. This was going to take some explaining. I could feel the headache already.

 

“Normally, this kind of thing would be a deal-breaker. You have turned a weapon on a tenant of these premises. However, due to the nature of this facility, I cannot, in good consciousness, force you to leave due to this. It would be massively hypocritical.”

 

“Hypocritical?...”

 

“*sigh* Are you aware of who you are working for?”

 

“Um, this tower? Tony? I really don’t know what ya want from me right now.”

 

“Okay, are you aware of the Avengers?”

 

“Erm, sort of? I mean, I’ve heard a few people mention them. Aren’t they some sort of team that saved or trashed New York? Could never get any kind of consensus about that.”

 

I nodded. Nothing he had said was false, but there was a bit missing.

 

“You have the basics down. The Avengers are a team of, as some have put it ‘Superheroes’ that recently saved New York. The battle was messy, and collateral damage came into play. Many people were evacuated, but a lot of things got caught in the crossfire, including this tower. Thus some people claiming that they destroyed New York.”

 

“Okay, I get that. Why is this important?”

 

Welp, time to drop a bombshell.

 

“You are currently working as the Chef for the Avengers home base.”

 

He just stared at me for a few seconds, then started chuckling. The chuckles quickly turned to full blown barks of laughter. Kuro jumped to sit on my desk and stare at the teen. It took a minute, but I waited as the teen eventually calmed down. Kuro gave a small “mew” and Rin grew jarringly somber. He gave a small, humorless laugh.

 

“Heh, good one, life.”

 

“What?”

 

“Of all the places that could have hired me, I get this one. Sometimes it all feels like some kind of cosmic joke.”

 

“... I see.”

 

I didn’t. I really didn’t.

 

“*snort* No you don’t. You can’t.”

 

Alright, this was going nowhere. I just wanted to wrap this up quick. Time for the direct approach.

 

“Look, maybe I know, maybe I don’t. It really doesn’t matter. I brought you here to let you know this: We’re here. If you ever need to talk to someone, we will be here. I may not be able to understand what you’re going through, but they might.”

 

He reeled back once I finished my little speech like he’d been struck.

 

“What?”

 

“I might not be able to understand,” I elaborated, “but that team includes people who are geniuses, spy’s, super soldiers, a literal norse g0d-alien-thing.” I stumbled for a proper description. “Thor. He’s Thor. And whatever you’re dealing with, I think they can help.”

 

Rin was staring at me now, mouth open. He groaned, putting his head in his hands.

 

“Why does this kind of thing even surprise me anymore? I thought I was _done_ with this bullsh*t. Y’know what? Screw it, I give up. If I’m going be the chef for a team of superheroes, then I’m going to be the chef for a group of superheroes. I just don’t care anymore Kuro, I want to go _home._ ”

 

I could barely make out the muttered tirade.

 

“Look, I don’t know what happened, or what you’re dealing with, but we can help. You just need to ask. We have recourses. Just, think about it.”

 

He looked up through his hands just a touch, staring at my desk. Kuro, for his part was whiplashing between me and his person. He mewed, jumping onto Rin’s back. He cracked a small smile, still not looking up.

 

“Thanks Kuro. I needed that.”

 

The cat scrambled to Rin’s shoulder as he straightened and stretched.

 

“Alright, I’ll think about it. I have something I need to do.”

 

“Good. Oh and by the way, Clint would like to speak with you at some point. He say’s he’s not mad or anything, he just wants to talk.”

 

“Fine.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I really hope people aren't acting OOC right now. I tried, but I really don't know how close I got it.


	5. Interior Destructerating

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A.k.a. Rin is an interior re-decorator, Kuro replaces the old mentor cliche with the sassy mentor cliche, and JARVIS is a cameo.
> 
> This is also goes into some demon headcanons, so have fun!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rin POV

Damn, that meeting wasn’t fun. I think I nearly had a breakdown. But if Kuro hadn’t been there...

 

“Hey Kuro, ya really saved my butt back there that was a great suggestion. Thanks. Big time.”

 

_“You’re very welcome! I thought you might need a place like that sooner, rather than later. So why not make it now?”_

 

If I couldn’t get back home soon -and I wasn’t going to stop trying, dear _lord_ no- then I may as well make the most of my space here. Make myself a den, as it were. Demons -and half demons, apparently- have a plethora of powerful instincts*.

 

Usually mine flare up when certain people are at risk, but as of now there were no people. My friends weren’t here, there was nothing for those instincts to latch onto. So a different bit of intrinsic nature stepped up: find home. It was usually pretty quiet next to the aforementioned “don’t let them die” instinct, but now… not so much. Those people were my home, or at least a big part of it. It won’t be the same, and it won’t be home, but I need to find _something._

 

Or, rather, _make_ something.

 

Back in that conversation with Pepper a faint, soothing warmth had rolled rolled over me for a moment when Kuro had suggested a den. It was exactly what I needed to hear.

 

But before we did anything...

 

“Hey, Kuro, do ya know if there are any cameras in here?”

 

I jumped a bit when a very-much-not-Kuro voice from the ceiling answered.

 

“There are exactly two cameras in this room sir.”

 

Non-voice-from-the-ceiling-real-Kuro puffed up a bit in surprise.

 

“Whoa! Who the hell are ya?!” I snapped.

 

“I am JARVIS.”

 

“Are ya also using the intercom?! Is this going to be a regular thing?!” ~~~~

“I am using the intercommunication system. Whether or not this is “a regular thing” as you so put it all depends on what you do.”

 

Wait a second, JARVIS? Isn’t that who Tony told me to ask for stuff? Well then,

 

“Could ya please turn them off?”

 

“Them, sir?”

 

“The cameras.”

 

“Yes, sir.”

 

Good, some privacy. Finally… wait a second...

 

“JARVIS?”

 

“Yes, sir?”

 

“Can ya still see me right now?”

 

“No, sir.”

 

“But ya can hear me, right?”

 

“Yes, sir”

 

Hmm… let’s think about this for a second. He can turn off the camera’s, but he can still hear me, so the place must be miked too. C’mon Rin, think!

 

_“Why don’t you just ask him to leave?”_

 

I blinked at Kuro who blinked up from the bed. I gave him a small smile. It’s worth a shot, I guess.

 

“Alright… would it be possible for ya to give me some complete privacy?”

 

“If you wish sir. If you are in need of my assistance you may find me in any of the other rooms.”

 

I waited for a moment before calling out for… what is JARVIS anyways? Is he a guy they hired to run the place, or some kind of… I don’t know, robot or something? Either way, when he didn’t answer I finally felt alone. Well, as alone as one can can be with yer dad’s familiar.

 

“Hey, Kuro, would ya please shift and lay next to the door?”

 

_“With pleasure!”_

 

Sure enough, a fifteen foot cat was more than enough to block the door. Wait…

 

“Um, just a moment Kuro, I just gotta…”

 

I clambered over my now massive friend, eventually reaching the door. I flipped the deadbolt latch I had nearly forgotten. Aaaaand why not, I hung the chain lock as well. No reason to _not_ use it.

 

_“You know, if you wanted me to get out of the way I could have just shrunk again.”_

 

“Nah, it’s fine. I got this.”

 

“Now, to make this place a proper den.”

 

…

 

I have no idea what I’m supposed to be doing.

 

“Hey Kuro?”

 

_“Yes?”_

 

“What exactly am I supposed to be doing here?”

 

The giant demon-cat blinked at me.

 

_“I don’t know. It’s different for every demon.”_

 

“Okay then, how would ya do it? Y’know, just as a frame of reference.”

 

Kuro blinked again, then stretched. His claws nearly tore a hole in the wall in front of him as he yawned.

 

Kuro's been really helpful. He's great at explaining certain things about my demonic heritage that other -human- people just look at me funny when I ask about. Like my tail, for example.

 

As it turns out, tails are like an all purpose pressure point for demons. If ya pull near the base, anyone will straight down. And if ya poke it, it’s like hitting yer funny bone: a sort of tingly pain that’ll spread through yer whole body. And if ya knead it like Kuro’s been doing, well… it’s hard to describe. Sort of like a color negative of that tingly cramp when yer foot falls asleep, so rather than being uncomfortable and irritating, it's relaxing or even downright soothing.

 

He’s been a real life saver on more than one occasion. Not to mention he’s constantly been giving good demonic advice**.

 

_“Firstly, figure out how large the space you want to mark is. Different kinds of demons will need more space or less space. For me it’s usually just: unless it actively objects, it’s mine. That doesn’t seem to be your perspective though.”_

 

I took a seat on the bed. Hmm…

 

“Ya said that different kinds demons need more or less space depending on their type, right? How much territory to fire demons usually need?”

 

_“Eh, they usually kept a mid sized turf, maybe medium large for some.”_

 

“... That’s incredibly helpful. Could I get a size in some kind of unit please?”

 

_“About eight square miles.”_

 

“What?!”

 

_“You heard me, about eight square miles.”_

 

“Yeah, I know! Just- that’s… a lot of space for one demon.”

 

 _“Not really, earth demons’ turf is usually_ way _bigger than that.”_

 

I paused for a moment, mulling that little tidbit over for a second before deciding to wave it off. Not important right now.

 

“Okay, fine. Whatever. That’s not-whatever. I don’t need that much space. I think.” I paused for a second. Yeah, eight square miles seemed a bit… excessive. “This room should be enough; maybe the kitchen too come to think of it. Wait a second, what exactly does a den _do_ again? Did we even ever establish what it did?”

 

Kuro’s tail twitched and his ears lowered in embarrassment. He heaved a sigh.

 

 _“It will be_ your _territory,”_ he drawled, the ‘Isn’t it _obvious?_ ’*** apparent in his voice, _“a place where_ you _are in charge. It’s a place where no one will hunt you. Where you will be safe.”_

 

“Okay… How do I go about doing this?”

 

Kuro’s forehead met the floor with a forceful *thud*. His paws rose to cover a head the size of a small car.

 

“Look, I can see that I’m asking some kind of dumb questions. But try to understand, I wasn’t raised to know this stuff -well, I sort of was- but ya know what I mean.”

 

He peeked out from under his paws.

 

 _“I suppose you’re right. It’s just, do I have to explain_ everything _to you?”_

 

I shrugged.

 

“Probably.”

 

He rolled his eyes as only a cat (or teenager) can, and put his head back under his paws. Fine, I know when enough is enough. Sometimes. Now is one of those times.

 

“Okay, okay, okay, restart. How do I do this?”

 

 _“I dunno, I’ve never had to coach someone in den-making before, it usually comes naturally. Like grooming. So, just_ do, _I guess. Maybe go get something nice****, rearrange the furniture, burn a few things; just do what comes naturally.”_ He lifted his head and licked a paw in a moment of contemplation, _“Just be sure to keep it low-key.”_

 

I nodded, a lot of these things made sense… for some reason. Why did they seem so appealing? Wait; I paused, Kuro’s odd final comment finally registering.

 

“Why keep it low-key?”

 

_“These guys supposedly have a g-d on crew, don’t they?”_

 

Oh.

 

“Right, sure. Hmm…”

 

Now, what _should_ I do? This place really feels wrong, empty. Looming, even. What does home have that his doesn’t? The obvious answer is, well, my family, and almost all my friends. Kuro’s here, but. Hmm… wait a second, I hope it’s not crumpled or anything. Shouldn’t be, I put it in my wallet.

 

Grabbing one of the few things this room came with -an empty picture frame- I carefully unfolded the picture and slid it in.

 

There.

 

I took a step back to admire my handywork. The fold lines did little to detract from the image; my friends were all there, smiling up in a frozen moment. A time when we were all together, all happy in each others company.

 

Setting down the picture I took another sweep of the room. A quick peek at the vents -which I probably should have done earlier, but eh, better late than never- revealed no one. I could continue as not-scheduled.

  
What else should I do? The picture was definitely a good start, but room was still a bit… off. I scrunched my eyes in concentration, my hands coming up to my head in an almost unconscious movement.

 

Think Rin, what else- hmm?

 

Something pricked at my hairline. I my eyes snapped, bringing my hands jerking down to their level; the automatic motion revealing the source of the prickling. Claws? Why would those come out _now_ of all times?

 

“What- why is- why are my _these”_ I waved my hands helplessly at Kuro, “coming out?”

 

Kuro merely raised an eyebrow at my panic.

 

_“It looks like you need to scratch something up.”_

 

“Well no _duh,_ what _else_ are claws for? But why are they coming out _now?!_ ”

 

 _“You’re, well, not_ smart _per say, but you’ll figure it out.”_

 

I threw my arms up in frustration.

 

“Ya-! Uhg! Fine.”

 

Cmon, _think Rin._ Why would _these_ happen when yer not in a fight? What are ya reacting too? What-

 

“Okay! This room is not helping! Would ya just stop being so- egh!”

 

I could almost lash out at the frustrating thing. Y’know what? Why not?

 

I shook the plaster out from under my claws. I’d have to clean that up later, but as of now the long furrows in the wall were nothing if not cathartic. And, wait… it’s less… empty.

 

I glanced down at my claws again, then to the wall, then to a -now smirking- Kuro.

 

“Ya knew.” I said, amicable frustration making it’s way into my voice and now slightly fluffed tail. “Ya bloody knew what was going on.”

 

It wasn’t a question. His face said it all. That haughty smirk that’s only made by people confident they aren’t going to be slapped -because they have just been proven right- make.

 

I hate that look.

 

“ _Don’t_ look at me like that.”

 

All I got in response was a widening grin.

 

“Y’know what, fine. I’m going to do a little redecorating, and by the time I’m done that stupid grin had better be wiped off yer face.”

 

Patient semi-mentor or no, that cat could be _frustrating._ Admittedly -and after a bit of cool-down time- frustrating in a helpful way. As of now though, I was annoyed, and this wall seemed as good a place as any to take vengeance upon.

 

*o*o*

 

A few good slashes later and my claws had shrunk; the room felt _almost_ right. There was still something _off_ though…

 

“Hey Kuro, sorry about snapping at ya earlier. Could ya come over here for a second. I can’t get any kind of leverage on this frame.”

 

Kuro, the oxymoronic angel that he was, lumbered to his paws.

 

_“Yeah Rin, I gotcha.”_

 

With the bed in the corner, everything seemed _right._ It was like finding that final spice to fill out a dish. I looked to Kuro.

 

He met my gaze. He blinked. I smiled. We both nodded.

 

Nothing needed to be said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And yes, that title is a portmanteau of decorator and destruct-er.
> 
> No, this work is not abandoned, my momentum has just slowed a bit. Chapters will still be coming out, but rather than every two days -as before- they'll just come out when I finish them. My previous pace was honestly starting to stress me out, and I want this to be a fun thing for everyone. So, yeah... onto the footnotes!
> 
> *Mainly possessive ones.
> 
> **Is that oxymoronic? I’m pretty sure that’s oxymoronic. And yes, this means that the devil on his shoulder has been steering him in the right direction.
> 
> ***To be fair, Rin did just ask the demon equivalent of “What’s a bed for?” (i.e. something that should be obvious and you really shouldn’t ever need to explain to anyone.)
> 
> **** See: start a hoard.


	6. Interrogation, and other fun party games

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Natasha POV

When Clint told me about Tony’s new cook -a homeless Japanese teenager who managed to not only save Tony’s arse, but  _ also _ hold his own against  _ Clint _ in hand to hand- I knew I had to meet this person. If for no reason other than to gauge his threat level. Apparently Tony had the  _ brilliant _ idea to hire a homeless stranger without a thorough background check. Sometimes* I just didn’t  _ get _ that man. Understanding him was one thing, but  _ getting _ him? Not so much.

 

He’d even given the kid a room in the tower. Admittedly, this was something that would be needed. Eventually. It hadn’t even been a week!

 

But it seemed like the new kid had made the place his own. Well, we can assume.

 

No one of had actually  _ entered _ his room.

 

Some had tried, of course, but everyone claimed that there was something that always stopped them. Some kind of “Aura” they claimed. With everything considered, I couldn’t dismiss it. We had a figure from Old Nordic Myth on our team, it wasn’t out of the realm of possibility that Tony had hired some other paranatural being.

 

Everything considered, it didn’t even seem that unlikely.

 

I had required confirmation though, and while the testimonies of these people were a good place to start, it was nowhere close to a comprehensive report. The ones before me only told tales of “My marrow ran cold” and “I’m being watched, by what, I don’t know. But it’s there, and it’s a predator” and “The only time I had ever experienced terror like that before was when someone upset my mother. (clarification: I wasn’t the one she was upset at, but I was in the same room, so there was collateral fear)” and “that cat cannot be an actual cat. It is waaaaay to smart.” and “I’ve babysat for  _ ERMA, _ but that room is c-r-e-e-p-y” and “Would someone please come in and clean this room, or at least point me towards the vacuum? Kuro’s hair is starting to build up”.

 

I made a note to look into this “Erma”, and we believe this last one was from Rin himself. But Rin’s contribution aside, the rest paint a fairly uniform picture.

 

It was one I needed to experience for myself.

 

But first,

 

“Have you been watching any of the cleaning crew lately?”

 

All I got was a small grunt in the negative. He didn’t even look up from his copy of the file. No matter… wait.

 

Someone was coming. Their footsteps were soft, not quite silent, but light enough to indicate some kind of training**. I glanced at Clint, he was relaxed as usual. The briefest of hand signals flashed as the new kid turned the corner. That odd cat of his was following at the heels.

 

“Hey, I heard ya wanted to have a chat with me.”

 

I didn’t recognise the voice -young probably late teens or early twenties, foreign, I’d bet almost anything Japanese- but  Barton gave the barest of nods before answering, this was guy he invited?

 

Interesting...

 

“Yes, come in.”

 

He looked just like his file photo, right down to the horned cat curled around his shoulders. His hands were jammed in his pockets, the thumbs hooked over the top. His shoulders hunched more the closer he came, and he stiffened visibly when I registered in his vision.

 

“So… any particular reason why ya asked for me?” He asked, poorly anxiety poking through a crooked grin.

 

“We always like to meet the new people when Tony hires someone.” I said, letting the statement hang. The silence should do the rest...

 

…

 

“Mrow”

 

Rin snorted, cracking a wry smile.

 

I internally grimaced. The stupid cat wouldn’t let things get uncomfortable. It began kneading Rin’s shoulder, forcing him to smother a laugh. Kuro locked eyes with me for a moment, stareing with  _ far _ too much intelligence for a mere animal; too much for even a cat. An intuitive shiver scuttled down my spine. That cat was  _ evaluating _ me.

 

It was over in a moment, but a moment was enough. I glanced at Clint, had he seen that too?

 

I got no signal, Rin was comfortable enough to start the conversation back up again.

 

“So…” He giggled, Kuro butting his furry head against Rin’ cheek, “anything ya wanted to know, ya know… in particular?”

 

“Just tell us a bit about yourself.” said Clint, nonchalant to the point it almost came off as bored.

 

Rin’e eyes flashed wide for a brief second, at which point he and his cat seemed to exchange looks. His gaze flicked to a high right position and leaned forward to rest his chin on his palm***.

 

“Um… well, let’s see. I’m in highschool, English  _ isn’t _ my first language but I seem to be doing pretty good so far, I really like to cook, I have a cat, oh! I’ve been recently hired by a  _ billionaire superhero, _ for some reason. Hm… what else...” He trailed off, leaving us in another lull.

 

Clint and I exchanged glances while the teen was lost in thought. We weren’t going to get anywhere like this. Time for a little direction.

 

Clint broke the Rin’s train of thought with a polite cough.

 

“So, what highschool do you go to? And for that matter, why are you not there?”

 

I nearly rolled my eyes; subtlety, thy name is not Clint.

 

For his part, Rin was doing a very good impression of a deer in the headlights.

 

“Um… reasons.”

 

“What reasons?”

 

“They’re reasons! They exist, and I don’t want to explain them right now!” he snapped.

 

“Okay,” I put a placating hand up, “okay… you don’t need to answer now.”

 

There was no need to push. He was getting defensive, and we were in no rush.

 

“If you ever need to tell us something, we won’t refuse.” I said.

 

“Unless we’re on a mission.” added Clint.

 

“Yes,” this time I  _ did _ roll my eyes, “Unless we’re on a mission. Is there anything else you wish to add captain obvious?”

 

Clint’s responding shrug was masterpiece of shedding blame, the caliber usually only found in artizens of the craft; like teenagers, or Tony.****

 

“What was the last tree you climbed?”

 

A complete derailment of the previous conversation. That was  _ technically _ adding something, I  _ guess. _ Some days I can’t tell if my partner’s a genius or just ignorant. I mean, I  _ know _ he’s not the latter, but really,  _ truly, _ there are some times when you just  _ can’t tell. _

 

“Um… I don’t know?... probably last month… I guess?” said Rin, throwing Clint an evaluating side-eye, seemingly debating my partner’s sanity, “Why?”

 

“No real reason, just curious.” Clint shrugged.

 

“ _ O-kay  _ then...” he said, stretching the vowels in the first word, “Not that this isn’t a  _ riveting _ … um, word, word, what’s- oh! right, conversation. Not that this isn’t a riveting conversation, but I need to go.”*****

 

His exit was swift, but odd. Hunched shoulders, thumbs hooked on his pockets, weird. As his -already light- steps faded I turned to Clint.

 

“So… thoughts?”

 

“Honestly, I’m not entirely sure. He  _ seems _ like a normal enough teenager… for the most part.”

 

“Indeed. But is there anything in particular that stuck out to you?”

 

“For one, he’s hiding something. Don’t know what, but it he’s not hiding or outright lying about at least  _ some _ part of his background, I’ll eat my bow. And did you see the way he left the room?”

 

I nodded.

 

“Definitely scared, or at least intimidated…” I trailed off, he was smart enough to know what I was getting at.

 

“... but confident he could take us.”

 

“And that cat, Kuro. What do you think he is?”

 

Clint shrugged.

 

“Familiar, maybe? Don’t quote me on this, but I don’t think those horns are fake.”

 

I leveled one of my flatter stares at him. That observation wasn’t even worth a verbal response.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Writing a subtle interrogation is F*cking HARD!
> 
> *Read: all times.
> 
> **Not quite, I mean, yes he has training, but it’s more instinctual for him than anything else. I really don’t think he’s ever been one much for stealth.
> 
> *** Signs of remembering images and lying or boredom respectively
> 
> **** He did learn from the best
> 
> ***** To anyone confused: this was just Rin trying to remember a word in English.


	7. Kitchen encounters of the... okay, what kind is this?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rin POV

“Hey new guy, what’s with the bag?” Asked Keith.

 

“Oh, just a personal item of mine,” I grinned, sometimes being being purposefully mysterious was fun! “why? Is it getting in the way?”

 

“No, it’s that Mordechai says it’s a sword.” He said, nonchalant.

 

And sometimes you’re fun’s over before it can begin.

 

“If it was getting in the way it wouldn’t even be allowed in here.” Keith continued.

 

“Nutmeg!” came a call from across the room. Lark seamlessly caught the strong spice sailing past her skull. “Thanks!”

 

The only sounds for a few minutes were the sizzling of frying pans and the chopping of knives. The pungent scent of ginger stuck in my nose for a solid few minutes after putting the spice away.

 

“You know...” began Keith

 

_ “No I don’t, please, enlighten me.” _ snarked Kuro, making me choke down a laugh.

 

“So, the sword. Why does a cook need a sword, or even get one for that matter?”

 

“Ya know, yer the first person to ask that since I got here.*”

 

“You didn’t answer my question.” He said.

 

I grinned, “Would ya believe me if I said it was to deal with Mr. Stark when he gets annoying?”

 

He paused, mulling it over for a moment.

 

“Hmm… maybe. If that’s the case though, can I borrow it sometimes?”

 

At that I actually  _ did _ laugh.

 

“Ey! You know the rules. Use your own knives!” Lark snapped. It’s taken a few days, but I was finally figuring that lady out. I think. So far I’ve only really managed to figure out that she has some kind of sense of humor and is really bloody scary.

 

“You know, none o’ us were expectin’ you to be anythin’ worth notin’, just another of the bosses experiments. But I’ve gotta say, not bad. You’ve held up remarcably decent.” She continued.

 

Keith gave a brief snort, a smirk coloring his features. “What she means to say is: ‘Hot Damn kid! You’ve got some stamina!’, right Lark?”

 

The other cook shrugged, hands deep in browned meat, “eh, somethin’ like that.”

 

The conversation petered out for a couple minutes after that. Then, a question struck me.

 

“Hey, what happened to the last guy?” I asked.

 

“Got tripped up by a robot.”

 

“‘Bout twenty times.” Snorted Lark.

 

Across the room Mordechai held up three fingers, then nine.

 

“Ah, right. Twenty-seven times.” She corrected herself.

 

He held up another two fingers.

 

“Oh, right. ‘nd twice over Tony. After that he just couldn’t take it anymore, he quit.”

 

I could definitely understand why someone would quit after all that. Honestly though, I doubt that’ll be a problem for me. I tend to break things that annoy me like that. It usually ends that kind of situation, one way or another.

 

“Alright then, note to self: don’t do that.”

 

Lark glanced over her shoulder, settling me with a calculating look before giving a short nod and turning back to her work. I took this as my que to focus back on my job as well, and everything went fine for another few minutes, until a snag reared its ugly head.

 

Ya see, I had been mainly dependent on my nose to steer me in the right direction, but this jar had both me and it stumped.

 

“Hey, Keith, what’s in this jar?” I tossed the container to him.

 

He caught it with an odd look. “Five spice powder, why? It’s labeled.”

 

“Erm,” I glanced at the slanted floor, suddenly feeling sheepish, “English isn’t my first language. I’m not that good with the written stuff.”

 

He gave me an odd glance, scrutinizing me for a moment before he shrugged.

 

“Well get on that then. It’s a weakness, we really can’t have that here.”

 

I resisted the urge to bite my lip -an old nervous habit from when my teeth weren’t sharp enough to accidentally pierce the skin- the blood would only muddle my senses further. Hopefully I won’t be here much longer, but… I don’t really know.

 

I shook my head, trying to quiet the dour thoughts. They wouldn’t be any help now. Besides, improving my English couldn’t  _ hurt, _ right? I continued down that trail of thought, body running on autopilot until it no longer could.

 

I had just added a dash of ginger, and the marinade was ready for… I froze, there was something I was forgetting.

 

“Hey Kuro, do you remember how he wanted this?”

 

My friend just shrugged from his perch on my shoulder. Crap.

 

“Hey, did anybody mark how he wanted the fish done?”

 

“Nope!”

 

“That was your job newbie!”

 

Oh. Crap, gotta go get that!

 

It was a bit of a scramble, but with a shout of “Behind ya!” and an almost-leap over the centre island I managed to get out of there. The common room wasn’t too far, but I still managed to berate myself in three different ways while running there for not figuring out how to work the intercoms yet.

 

It was one of things that I was going to get to,  _ eventually. _ After I figured out how to convince my new boss to build his friend a human-sized habitrail. It’s only been a few days, but I’ve already nearly attacked the guy at least two dozen times (Kuro’s been keeping count). I even ran the idea past the other cooks, and they agree.

 

I reached the common room, too caught up in my various thoughts to register the small warning signal in my hind-brain telling me something wasn’t right in the next room. It was only when I got in and was halfway through my question that everything registered.

 

“Hey, uh, how would you like…” I began, trailing off at the sight before me.

 

Crap.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *they actually are, Pepper never actually asked why he had it.
> 
> Admittedly, this chapter is mostly filler, but as I have yet to see Ragnarok I felt I should give you guys something to tide you over. Plus, this is set up, and you get to see Rin doing his job along with his co-workers, so I think that's pretty neat... and the habitrail line was something I had been sitting on for a long time and I find it hilarious.
> 
> And no, the OCs aren't particularly important, but I tried to at least make them enjoyable.


	8. Mythology Lessons and a Glowy Leaf of Destiny

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thor POV
> 
> Quick note: This happens at the same time as the previous chapter

The previous time my Midgardian companions and I were together, I was forced to leave on rather short notice. I do hope they do not hold that against me. I did bring two objects as a form of apology. One that Stark would most definitely enjoy, the other of which doctor Banner had found most useful.

 

“Ah, Friends, I have returned!”

 

They all perked up at the sound of my voice, Tony even getting up from his seat on the couch to come over and greet me.

 

“I can see that,” Clint said, “And in mostly one piece.”

 

“Yeah, where you been buddy? We’ve -Ack!”

 

I cut off Stark’s surely sardonic remark with a hug. He had the tendency to natter on far too long for my tastes, this was a good way to keep it short. And if that hug happened to be a bit more forceful than need be, well… regardless, it was good to see him again.

 

*CrAck*

 

You can tell when a midgardian is done being hugged when you hear the crack.

 

Tony stumbled back to the couch and flopped down once I released him. I claimed the cushion next to him. I rested my head against the back of the back of the sofa and rested my new blades on its arm. It was nice to take a bit of a rest.

 

I was still staring at the ceiling when I began speaking, “I have traversed the edges of the realms, making certain both Fenrir* and Jormungand are secure.”

 

“Who and who?”

 

I sighed, bringing my gaze to rest on -who else?- Tony. It seemed that many of the people of this realm had forgotten the old stories. The times we tried to explain why certain things happened; why Sol had to keep moving, or why my dog kept them up at night. One of these days I would have to re-explain my family tree to these people. That will not be a fun day, but as of now.

 

“Fenrir the Demon Wolf and Jormungand the World’s Serpent, two of my Nephews. Usually Tyr is the one to feed Fenrir, but she was… _occupied_ at that time.” I would tell them of our new settlement in Norway some other time. They needn’t worry about us right now.

 

Both my compatriots seemed shocked by the news. The Man of Iron was the first to recover from the odd paralysis.

 

“Your _nephews?_ Loki has _kids?!_ And they’re _what?!_ ”

 

“Yes, he has children. Does that surprise you?”

 

“Yah.”

 

At this Clint waved a dismissive hand in Stark’s direction.

 

“Never mind, Tony. I’ll fill you in later.” He turned to address me, “Anyways, you said that you were checking on them. And you seem to be in one piece, so I assume all is well?”

 

“Ha! Indeed it is,” I gave the archer a hearty slap on the back, to which he pitched forward. Whoops, “Apologies for the abruptness of my departure.”

 

At that the owner of the tower waved off my apology.

 

“It’s fine. I’d been needing an excuse to put in explosion-proof windows anyways.”

 

“If that is the case, then you are welcome.”

 

Stark’s response was only a half-lidded stare and a remark in a dry tone.

 

“Don’t make a habit of it.”

 

“I do not plan to.” I replied. I had no intention of doing so again. Unlike mugs, smashing architecture was considered rude in any realm.

 

We sat in amicable silence for a few seconds before Stark made another remark.

 

“Is that a glowy thing in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?”

 

“‘The glowy thing’, as you so put it, is an item I intend to return to doctor Banner.”

 

“In that case, hey Bruce! Quit huddling over those books and come say hello.” Clint shouted to the other room.

 

The doctor’s head poked out the open doorway.

 

“Yes? Oh, hi Thor.”

 

“Greetings! Come, sit. I believe you will recognise this, doctor Banner.” I said, pulling out the leaf.

 

The iridescent object was small enough to fit in the palm of my hand, but nonetheless my companions were mesmerized.

 

“This is a leaf of Yggdrasil. They are said to be able to mesmerize any beast or being who views it. And,” I looked pointedly at the doctor “are thus able to calm any rage in the process.”

 

At this everyone else glanced at Banner, eager for his thoughts.

 

A small smile made its way to his face. A sardonic one, but a smile nonetheless. Was he still mad about us dropping him off to explain the whole thing about Hela and… everything else?

 

I would most certainly not get my answer _now_ , as Stark piped up again.

 

“Welp!” Tony clapped once, ever the cheerful soul, “Next time we need a herbal remedy for Hulk, we’ll just bring out the glowy leaf of destiny.”

 

“Stark, you are forcing me to reconsider my choice of giving you this.” I said, drawing out the chains.

 

Stark’s eyebrows raised near his hairline as I dropped the item in his lap.

 

“You shouldn’t have, really.”

 

He looked down at the broken shackles.

 

“No, really. You shouldn’t have. Why did you? And what is this? And why did you hand me something? I don’t like being handed things.”

 

“What I just gave you is a gift. A piece of Fenrir’s old fetters, made of material unlike anything on Midgard. And I did not hand you anything. I dropped it in your lap.”

 

“... what?”

 

Had the man not been listening?

 

“I did not hand you anything. I dropped it in your lap.”

 

He stared at the object, looked at me, then back at the shackles. A grin -one I most certainly did not like- slowly crept across his features. Banner shrunk back a bit when those features turned to him.

 

“Oh man, this is gonna to be _fun!_ ”

 

“Eh…” The doctor trailed off as Stark began dragging him off.

 

As Tony got to the door, Clint broke the lull in talking with a question. Stark paused in his commandeering of the doctor, turning to the source of more interesting things.

 

“Hey, wait a moment. If I have my mythos right, doesn’t you have a niece too?”

 

“Indeed. Hel** isn’t one for meddling though. She’s smart enough to handle herself. I usually visit once every dozen or so years.”

 

At this Clint seemed confused. Stark, on the other hand, seemed intrigued. He had dragged the doctor back over with him, setting Banner down on a red footstool.

 

“Uhm, isn’t Hel, y’know… evil?”

 

Again I sighed. This would be my fifth time explaining it, as this seemed a rather common misconception among midgardians. Not to mention the… _less than pleasant_ memories attached to the one they were mixing her up with.

 

“No, Hel is not ‘evil’ as you so put it. Indifferent and cold, yes; that I shall grant you. She is the caretaker of Helheim, the realm of the dead.”

 

Clint blinked once, then nodded.

 

“Okay, I that works. But if Helheim isn’t a place of fiery torment, then what am I thinking of?”

 

I thought for a moment before an involuntary shudder racked me; the mere thought of the fiery realm causing small convulsions.*** It is a truly horrid place. I’d rather try to lift Jormungand's head again. I’d sooner marry a frost giant.****

 

“You have most likely confused Helheim with _Muspelheim._ ”

 

“Muspelheim?” He echoed.

 

“Aye, the realm of fire and demons. Not a pleasant place.”

 

That was the point when -as if summoned- a demon entered the room.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Not the big wolf we see in the film, he was called something different if I remember correctly
> 
> **Not Hela, Hel. Completely different beings.
> 
> ***I’m using the more accurate, if less well known version of Helheim vs. Muselheim. As it turns out, in most myths Helheim is just another afterlife. It’s not Hell (two l’s), or any kind of punishment, you just go there when you died, regardless of how or who. Only one myth actually describes Helheim as any kind of punishment. (this is, of course, if my sources are right.) Muspelheim, on the other hand, is a fiery realm of demons. Sound familiar?
> 
> **** anyone know the myths I’m referencing?
> 
>  
> 
> Quick note: I am by no means an expert in Norse Mythology. I have researched a bit, but it may still be wildly off. The Marvel mythos is also different, so apologies if I got that completely screwy either. Also, there is nothing in either myth about either Fenrir of Jormugand being tended to in their captivity, but I like the sentiment. And yes, the rock-snake thing did happen in the myths. The person tied down at the time was actually Loki, shapeshifted into a fish.
> 
> Also, Clint knows some stuff because he studied up on the old myths when they started becoming relevant again. He was a member of an intelligence agency, after all.
> 
> As for why the animals are checked up on, well, they aren’t cruel (battle hungry, certainly, but not cruel). Fenrir is feed daily, and Jormungand bi-annually. He is a serpent after all, they don’t need to feed that often if the meal is large enough.
> 
> As to the whole situation with Thor: Ragnarok, in this story it’s entirely canon with the exception of the end-credit scenes, and anything else brought up in the story.
> 
> Update note: yeah, I know I usually update on days ending in 7 (not all days, but only on ones ending in 7), but I decided, eh, why not.


	9. This Would Make a Great Paranormal Cat Video

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rin POV

There’s a person(?) in the room. Granted, there’s a lot of people in the room, but this one feels _different._ Maybe if I just…

 

“Hey guys, um… how, what, uh… okay, two things, wait, no, three things. One, how did ya want the fish done?” Focus on the thing I _know_ I can deal with first. Get that out of the way. Maybe get my thoughts organized.

 

“Medium.”

 

“Okay, good.”

 

“And the other two things?”

 

Nope, thoughts still a complete disorganized mess. Welp, nothing to do about that but to just go for it.

 

“Who are ya and what is that?”

 

“In order: Thor,” I froze, tail beginning to constrict my torso as instincts demanded I tuck it. The warning signals from before were full-on blaring alarms now. Fortunately -or perhaps… no, it definitely fortunate- Tony didn’t seem to notice my sudden terror at meeting the g-d being. “I’d like you to meet Rin. He’s the new cook, so you might be seeing him around a bit. Rin, this is Thor.”

 

“As far as what that” He jabbed a finger at the glowing object in Thor’s hand. “thing is, honestly, I’m not entirely sure. Blondie says it’s a ‘Leaf of Yggdrasil’, but I’d like to run a few tests. You never know what you’re gonna find.”

 

“Erm, ya,” I agreed, a bit frantic. A harsh white noise -static maybe- began drowning out the rest of the conversation. Every minute I was in here it got harder to keep from bolting. Kuro’s fluffed up fur brushed against my cheek. The physical contact gave me something besides the overwhelming fear to cling to. Not a lot, but _something._

 

The painless burning began prickling around my fingertips. I clutched at my notepad, digging my nails in to try and stop it. My eyes snapped shut, trying to block out the _thing_ bringing the stress. I could tell I had hunched over. I could feel pressure on top of my head where Kuro crawled up, his claws digging into my scalp. His hissing crept to my ears, the harsh static from before fading in its path.

 

Until he stopped.

 

I slumped at his abrupt cut off, eyes jarred open. His paws relaxed, slipping off my head. I managed to catch him. The overwhelming fear I had felt was fading, rising confusion and concern gradually taking its place. What could have possibly done this?!

 

“Kuro?...”

 

He wasn’t responding. I could still feel his breathing, but why wasn’t he responding?!

 

“Um… Rin?”

 

I leapt at the familiar voice, looking up to the faces of my employer and his friends. They ranged from concerned to suspicious, and I just _couldn’t._

 

I turned tail and ran. I couldn’t think. Fear was back, gripped me stronger than ever, digging into every last piece of flesh it could. The panic was causing actually physical _pain._

 

I ran, though for only a mercifully short time. I’d never been more thankful for the close layout of the building. My mind and body were a blur by the time I reached my room. I barely had the mental forethought to bolt the door behind me, something what was _not_ made easier by my lengthening claws.

 

They _can’t_ find out. Together they were _far_ stronger than I was. I knew that, on even the most basic level, _I knew._

 

That was something I _knew_ I couldn’t go up against, not without releasing my flames at least. And even then there was no guarantee. I racked my mind, trying to think of any beings that I had actually defeated that might be hailed a g-d’s, just trying to find _something_ to latch onto. Something that I could hold a mirror up to, to give me a bit of hope. With any luck it won't come to a fight, but with _my_ luck, yeah. It _definitely_ will.

 

And they were going to have _questions_ now. Maybe of the demon variety, maybe not. Either way, there would be questions.

 

My mind played these thoughts on loop, one blurring into the next until I couldn’t make any out.

 

My chest constricted, I couldn’t get enough air. It was like I was drowning. I gasped for breath, nearly choking on my own tongue.

 

I choked down the rising bile* in my throat.

 

The room blurred. Something pinned me to the floor. I nearly lashed out in my haze, but something managed to register through it. It was warm and heavy… and furry. I had never been pinned by something like that, something like that had never threatened me that way. It made me pause. It let me think. Let his scent and voice break through the haze.

 

_“It’s okay Rin. I’m not hurt. You’re not hurt.”_

 

Kuro.

 

I let my body relax, head cooling when it touched the floor. A white, blank calm fell over me. Time skipped and distorted, the edges of my consciousness were static and fuzz. Not unpleasant, but hard to pin down. It didn’t matter anyways, I was _exhausted._

 

_“Rin? Rin?! Are you okay?!”_

 

“Yeah dude, I’m fine. Just, just, just, ju- just *yawn* just tired.”

 

Those fuzzy edges closed in. I didn’t bother trying to keep my eyes open.

 

“I’ma just gonna take a nap…”

 

* * *

 

Warm. Fuzzy… wet? Those were the first things going through my mind when I woke up. The first two made sense**. I tried opening my eyes, only to squeeze them shut at the feeling of hair on my face. I tried shaking it out, but froze when something brushed the back of my head.

 

Oh.

 

“Uh… Kuro?”

 

_“Yeah?”_

 

“I thought we agreed, yer not allowed to groom me like this.”

 

Despite not being able to see my friend I got a distinct feeling of sheepishness coming from above me.

 

_“I know, but… eah…”_

 

I let out a sigh, gently wriggling out from under him. I knew that sound all too well. It was the sound of someone who knew they were wrong, but _just couldn’t help themselves._

 

“Hmm… okay. We both know what ya did wrong, but I’m not gonna berate ya for it. What I am gonna do is say we have more important things to worry about, and I’m gonna take a shower.”

 

* * *

  


“So, uh, two things. First, thank ya.

 

Kuro positively beamed at that, puffing out his chest and sitting up proudly. Well, as ‘up’ as one could when one’s head was in danger of hitting the ceiling.

 

_“Thanks! Happy to help!”_

 

Honestly I didn’t really mind his shifting against orders right now. He saw a situation and took care of it in a way that didn’t injure anyone, plus he didn’t technically _show_ his larger form. We were alone.

 

“Okay, second, a question…”

 

_“Yes?”_

 

“WHY IN THE NAME OF YER OWN TWO TAILS DID YA FAINT LIKE THAT?!”

 

Kuro didn’t answer for a moment. He just sat there open mouthed.

 

 _“Uh……… it felt so_ good. _”_

 

I raised an eyebrow at the unexpected response. A quick brush of the bristles against the floor alerted me my tail twitched. “What do ya mean it felt ‘good’? What felt good?”

 

_“The leaf? It felt good? I don’t…”_

 

It came out more like a question than an answer. I paused. Snapping isn’t going to go anywhere. I took in a deep breath, letting the feeling of my den seep through me. I was safe, he was safe, I don’t need to attack anyone. Calm down.

 

“Okay. Sorry about that. Let’s break this down. First: yer telling me ya passed out because ya felt good, right?”

 

Kuro blinked, and stayed quiet for a moment before shaking off his stupor.

 

_“Yes.”_

 

“Okay. Second: good mentally, or good physically?

 

_“Um… both? You know that feeling when you get stroked under the horns?”_

 

“Uh… no.” I gestured to my forehead.

 

_“Oh, right. Well you know that feeling when I knead your tail?”_

 

I nodded.

 

_“It’s kind of like that.”_

 

I nodded, letting the new information process a little.

 

“Alright then, third thing: was the leaf that glowy thing?”

 

“Yah.”

 

Okay, at least now I know what’s going on. Sort of. Maybe. Ish. Ugh, why me?

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Humans have hydrochloric acid in their stomachs. Demons and half demons have something a bit stronger. Lets just say that last time Rin was sick and it got on the floor carpenters had to be called, and leave it at that.
> 
> **‘Sense’ in this case is so relative it may as well be his cousin. This most definitely not ‘sense’ in the way you or I would think of it.


	10. Everyone wait your turn, that means you Barbra

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thor POV

Everyone’s eyes were glued to the spot where we last saw the fleeing chef. A stunned silence had fallen over the room. One which was broken by, of all people, doctor Banner.

 

“Uuuuh… Thor?” He asked, tone somewhere between cautious and bewildered.

 

“Aye?”

 

“Question. What was-”

 

Tony (who had somehow been stunned to silence up to that point) interrupted, “Did anyone else just see that?! His cat just fainted! And don’t tell me I was the only one who saw the tails! I  _ know _ I saw that thing having two tails!”

 

I sighed, rubbing my head.

 

“Look,” started Clint, cutting any frantic arguing off before it could start, “I’m not entirely sure what happened, but we need to remain calm, look over the facts. Okay?”

 

There was a chorus of agreement.

 

“Okay, good. First, the leaf. It only affects supernatural, er, off midgard, beings, correct?”

 

I nodded.

 

“Okay, and we all know cats are completely unpredictable, right?” There was another chorus of agreement, but the archer ignored it to plow down his train of reasoning, “That’s not really relevant right now though, so ignore it. I’m sort of thinking out loud here.”

 

Clint had begun pacing now, making circuits around the black sofa.

 

“So if only supernatural beings are affected by the leaf, then the cat must not be a normal cat right? Right.”

 

“Quick question,” Banner cut in, “what about the kid? That cat is his, and he wasn’t affected by the leaf. Do you think he knows?”

 

My companions looked worriedly at each other and the exit. Before anyone could make a move to rush to the boy’s aid I spoke up.

 

“Actually, I think the boy may be a demon.”

 

Another silence fell over the room, along with a dropped jaw courtesy of Tony. I didn’t let the quiet hang though, and continued before anyone could cut in.

 

“Allow me an explanation,” I began, “all beings are magically aware on some level. Midgardians most often are the least aware, though there are exceptions. However, even they would be aware of a suitably powerful or finely tuned form of magic. Other beings, such as Aesir like myself are more magically attuned, thus able to perceive signals to faint for Midgardians.”

 

“Those two, they  _ reeked _ of Muspelheim.”

 

Stark held up a hand, signaling me to stop.

 

“Wait, are you telling my I hired a pair of demons?!”

 

“No,” Clint corrected him, “he’s telling you that you hired  _ a _ demon, it just so happened to be a two-for-one deal. Speaking of which, we should probably deal with that.”

 

No sooner was the suggestion made when a creature burst through the window, rushed past us, and bolted down the hall.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shorter than normal, I know. However, I will be updating with another chapter on the 7th to even this out


	11. There's a reason people invented knocking... this probably wasn't it, but my point still remains

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rin POV
> 
> Quick note: this chapter occurs at roughly the same time as the previous chapter and ends just after it does.

I rubbed at my head.

 

“Hey Kuro, how long have we been in here?”

 

_“I’d say about half an hour.”_

 

*sigh* better go out and face the music. I reached for the door but was blocked by a wall of fur.

 

_“You are staying right here for now.”_

 

“Kuro, I’m gonna have to explain myself sooner or later. They’re probably discussing it as we speak. The more I wait the more likely it is someone’s figured it out!”

 

I was grasping at straws. We both knew it. But I had to go and… why did I want to go out there? I wasn’t going to tell them the truth, and I felt some form of safety here, so why?...

 

 _“Rin,”_ If ya didn’t know what to look for it was hard to tell when a cat sith, but Kuro’s features had softened. His ears flicked forward and he lowered his face so his nose was close to mine. _“You aren’t good at this human emotions stuff. None of us are. You’ve had a lot of practice, sure, but in the end it’s not what you were built for.”_

 

“I-I…” I stumbled over my words, choking on personal realization and my own tongue. What do ya say to that? To a friend who just showed ya not only how they cared, but also a truth about yerself ya didn’t even know? I almost didn’t even register his next words over the overwhelming relief flooding my system.

 

_“It’s okay, really. You need to rest.”_

 

I sighed, wishing _so dearly_ to do what he wanted. I had to do something first though.

 

“Okay, but first I need to tell them they’re on their own for dinner. I’ll be right back.”

 

I took a deep breath, letting the torn up, white(ish) walls calm me. The marks on those were easy to understand. They would be there until someone came in and fixed them. They wouldn’t change shape, wouldn’t disappear without warning. The marks words left on people, not so much.

 

People were always so hard to figure out. But now there was at least an explanation.

 

The walk was brief, but nonetheless harrowing. Worries tangled in silken strands of happiness, neither fully able to leave an impact. Different scenarios ran through my head, some easily picked apart and dismissed, others less so.

 

The ones involving sky whales and tanks built by ancient civilizations had just been dismissed when I arrived. I got greeted by a “Ey! Where were you?!” from Keith.

 

“Sorry, I just…” I trailed off, what could I say? I had felt them out in the open like that.

 

“I don’ care," Lark cut in, “Unless yer gonna catch fire or infect the food with somethin’ nasty, ya do yer job, ya hear?”

 

“Yes ma’am, it won’t happen again.”

 

“Good. Ya only get one.”

 

Oh crap. My gaze darted everywhere but Lark’s form. The kitchen was almost spotless, as always. The salt was never put away, instead left to season the granite countertop where it stood. The pot on the center island wasn’t quite dry yet, but everything else was hanging on its proper hooks.

 

I almost bit my lip, stopping myself just short with the quick reminder that I didn’t want to add a cut lip to my list of problems. I took a deep breath, and gave my request in a single, hopeful breath.

 

“I have to tell ya I’m not gonna be available during dinner.”

 

Lark’s eyes cut into me, I could almost feel her knives at my throat. I quick glance at Keith only showed disapproval, maybe a little concern.

 

“I swear, it’s not my fault or idea! Something came up!”

 

The sound of fingers snapping drew our attention. I glanced over, my eyes locking with Mordechai’s soul-piercing ones. It was only a few seconds, but it was a damn unpleasant few seconds.

 

He nodded.

 

Lark snorted, disdain apparent. Nonetheless, the feeling of knives at my throat faded.

 

“Alright then, ya get this one too, ya hear? Nothin else! We expect ya back at breakfast, getit?!”

 

I nodded frantically, “Got it.”

 

“Good.” She gave one more long, scrutinizing look, “Now git!”

 

I dashed back to my room, locking it and flopping on the bed. I wrestled my shoes off, and after considering for a moment, tossed my hat to the side. The sensation of fresh air against the top of my ears for the first time in so long was wonderfully refreshing. I glanced at the picture of my friends and smiled. They would be there when I got back. Amongst the chaos of the past weeks, that was one thing I knew with certainty. I curled up, Kuro snuggling against my side. I reached out, stroking his head, his breathing steady and calming.

 

I hadn’t so much as closed my eyes before a creature tore down the door.


	12. Can’t we just talk about this like civilized… what are you anyways?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tony POV

The thing that crashed through the window almost looked like a vulture if you squinted. And if vultures were six feet tall, had six scaly legs, no flesh on their wing struts, too many claws for their feet, two heads, and beaks like serrated hatchets. So… yeah, if you squinted it sort of looked like my in-law.

 

All these features registered in the few seconds it took to scramble across the room and around the corner.

 

I bolted after it, making sure not to loose sight despite the a sneaking suspicion where it was going. I distantly registered the sound of my fellow heroes following me, more important thoughts gouging at my attention. What was that thing?! Had I really hired demons? Who was Rin, really?

 

These thoughts came to a crashing halt as I rounded the next corner. The scene before me was stunning, in the most literal sense of the word.

 

The kid was positively livid. Eyes nearly slits, teeth far too sharp and long for any human bared themselves in a snarl.

 

“Go. Away,” He bit out, almost growling, “I _’_ m no _t_ in _th_ e m _o_ od.”

 

I flinched at his speech, as did the bird, oddly enough. His pissed off declaration was interspersed with a strange hissing, clicking, growling voice. The bird’s eyes narrowed, its wings arched to fill the hall. A low, creaking screech escaped its beaks in an unnerving dual-tone.

 

The kid returned with an almost animal hiss. He began circling the bird thing, pacing, practically stalking. He balanced on the balls of his feet, which despite their new claws made no noise.

 

The snap of tension was almost audible as the two unknowns charged each other.

 

The creature struck. One head clamped on the boy’s shoulder. It thrashed its head, further shredding his flesh. Rin’s pained screech was near deafening, the other head recoiling at the noise to snap shut on empty air. The most-definitely-not-a-cat took full advantage of the opening. Claws flashed. The creature screeched, now missing an eye.

 

Rin sunk his teeth into the neck buried in his shoulder. He curled up, lashing out with his feet, jerking his head and the opposite direction.

 

The creature’s pained screech rang in the air. It fled. Or at least attempted to. A furious Rin leapt after the creature. He slammed it out of the air. They snapped and yowled at each other. I could barely keep track of who was who as they fell.

 

Rin was fighting like I’d never seen someone fight before, and that’s saying a lot. But it’s very true here. I’d never seen a chef claw their opponents wing off before. Although, come of think of it, Lark’s chewing out of the janitor did come pretty close.

 

Something flickered out behind Rin. A tail. It lashed through the air and with a cracking flick blue flames burst from the tip, rushing up the tail to blanket the teen.

 

Another flick, one aimed at the creature. A wave of fire curled from the lashing appendage. The creature squawked and recoiled. Rin leapt, slamming into it again. I was almost blown back as the creature’s remaining wing beat frantically, trying to dislodge the enemy clinging to its back.

 

A sickening SNAP! rang through the air as the creature’s spine crunched between his teeth. The bird froze. It fell limp in his teeth, limbs and heads drooping.

 

He spat the twitching creature to the floor, nudging it with his foot before turning his attention on us, not noticing his most-definitely-not-a-cat hopping up to his shoulder.

 

I froze, paralyzed by the predators gaze. The most-definitely-not-a-cat hissed.

 

My mouth apparently hadn't gotten the whole ‘paralyzed by threat of imminent death’ message though*, as I heard myself say, “Okay, does anyone else feel hunted right now, or is it just me?”

 

Rin made a noise somewhere between a cough, a sneeze, and spitting.

 

He shook his head, hair flying back and forth like a dog’s fur as it dries off. Kuro leapt off his shoulder, sitting himself down close to his person. Rin’s hands almost scrabbled for his face as he grabbed it, claws opening small wounds which immediately cauterized themselves before disappearing. Flames, previously dancing high had mellowed to a calmer, more constrained level.

 

Kuro meowed(?) at the teen, shifting his weight paw to paw and tail flicking in what I could only describe as a display of concern.

 

“Hey-” I began, before being cut off by a chest rattling snarl. Spit foamed off fangs longer than my finger, broiling in the supernatural heat. The most-definitely-not-a-cat's attention was on me before I even cut myself off, staring at me as cat’s do. You know, that glare that makes you feel ridiculous for even existing? Yeah, that, but also intelligent, cautious, and about eight thousand times more dangerous.

 

I’m just gonna say Nope to that.

 

Every person not on fire or female looked at Nat. Her shoulders slumped and our designated we’re-not-quite-sure-how-to-classify-these-folks calmer leveled a flat look at us as she snatched the leaf from Thor’s hands. Her shoulders squared and she pushed around me to creep towards the agitated cook. Her calm creep contrasted sharply with Rin’s near primal pacing.

 

She shoved the glittery item under his nose.

 

“Come on man, just _calm.”_ I heard someone mutter under their breath.

 

The cook yawned, exposing those long fangs again before falling over. Just like that.

 

Well, that was anticlimactic.

 

No sooner had that thought passed my mind when a Nat launched herself backwards and a mass of black fur appeared over the prone teen.

 

Kuro’s maw yawned wide, fangs the size of my arm glistening with saliva as hissing filled the air. Somehow even longer claws rent groves in black linoleum flooring. He crouched low over his person. The not-a-cat could easily go head-to-head with a truck just going off the size of his teeth alone, but he apparently thought that wasn’t big enough as his fur had fluffed up.

 

“O-kay then,” I said, stressing the first syllable. This was getting a bit ridiculous, even by my standards (okay, no it wasn’t but it certainly wasn’t at the bottom of the list either). I gestured to the not-a-cat, “who’s going first?”

 

Point Break stepped forward. He tapped Nat out, taking back the leaf and approached the not-a-cat with a kind of confidence that only comes with never fully realizing you can die when you are killed (that, or way too much alcohol, but I was pretty sure he wasn’t drunk at that point).

 

The not-a-cat lowered itself further, chin brushing the ground. For every step Thor took closer the hissing lowered an octave, quickly becoming a eye-rattling growl. His ears pinned themselves against his head, and he snapped his jaws in one final gesture of ‘back the #^@! off!’.

 

Despite being no more than two feet from jaws easily capable of biting him in half, Thor didn’t flinch. Rather, he told the massive not-a-cat to, “Be calm. We need to talk.”

 

The not-a-cat stopped hissing for a moment, appearing to think on the request for a moment.

 

That was, of course, until Thor decided taking another step was a good idea, at which point Kuro lashed out, chomping down on the arm Thor reflexively threw out to defend himself. Electricity crackled along the limb which was promptly spat out.

 

He muttered something about not letting Tyr hear about that, and held up the leaf like a threat. Kuro flinched back and snapped his eyes and jaws shut, trembling. Like he was bracing against an oncoming force.

 

Thor turned to us, grinning, “Now, was that so hard?” he chided. I honestly couldn’t tell who he was talking to, Kuro, me, Nat, or himself.

 

“What now?” I asked to no one in particular, stepping fully into the room.

 

“He’s, uh… can someone go over what just happened for those in the back?” Banner’s strained question rose from the back of the group.

 

“Yeah,” I turned to Thor, who was approaching the shuddering not-a-cat, “but more importantly- WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!”

 

Kuro leapt, slamming into the off-guard g-d. Thor threw his arm up again, his shaking forearm catching both the not-a-cat’s horns. I took a step forward, rushing to help the straining idiot, but he threw up his other arm in the apparently universal sign of stop. He grabbed a horn with his blocking hand and grazed the underside with the other one.

 

A housecat sized Kuro hit the floor, out cold. No one moved for a moment. The only sound was a soft dripping of blood onto the floor. Until, that is, Clint decided to voice one of the least important questions circling through everyone’s minds.

 

“Did you know that would work?”

 

“Aye.”

 

“How!?” “Couldn’t you have done that _first?!_ ”

 

Clint and Nat snapped simultaneously.

 

Thor only smirked, “My goats are much the same way. Also aye, I could, but where would be the excitement in that?”

 

I blinked, raising a hand to interject a point regarding lack of stress being a sort of joy, but decided against it. Bruce decided now was the time to voice his question regarding what the actual $^@& just happened again, but none of us could answer. When Thor was asked all he said was that we needed to talk to them, and went back to silently regarding the three prone figures on the floor with something not entirely unlike sympathy.

 

(There are two heads here, one is just behind the other, same with the lower legs. Also, there's another set of arms tucked under the wings)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *It never does
> 
> Also, if anyone was wondering why Rin just fell over like that, it was due to a mixture of factors, mainly: 1. Prior exhaustion due to emotions 2. New exhaustion from the fight 3. Pain and 4. He was mainly staying awake on sheer momentum and stress at that point, so introducing a calming agent was more of the straw that broke the camel's back.
> 
> And those wondering what Kuro is doing shaking like that, well he’s trying his damndest to block out the leaf’s influence.
> 
> And for those wondering exactly where Rin was bitten, he got bit in the left trapezius and clavicle.


	13. What. The. &^!#.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rin POV

“Ow.”

 

That was the first thing I thought when I woke up. It was promptly followed by “Oh $#&@!” as memories caught up with me like a truck: fast, hard, and painful.

 

Vision went white as I tried to scramble to my feet. My left arm collapsed beneath me the moment any weight was placed on it. I gasped, panting back panic. The world flickered as I blinked away tears.

 

I vaguely remember scrambling to a seated position against the nearest wall. Each breath shook, every shallow exchange of air accompanied by burning pain lancing through my side. I sat there for some time, staring at nothing, trying to get my breathing under control.

 

I don’t know how long it took, but when I finally managed to get my breathing suitable even a few things became apparent.

 

First, I was injured. No duh. Serious pain is usually a good first clue. The odd tugging sensation of stitches in my shoulder was another one. When you add in the bandage wrapped around it you get a pretty good picture of my situation.

 

I got a solid few moments of screaming as the situation set in before the lack of moisture in my throat sent me hacking. That fit ate up a fun minute before I managed to tamp it down.

 

I had also grabbed a pillow. Or what used to be a pillow. Apparently claws do things to stuff you grab when you’re in pain.

 

I dropped the thoroughly shredded cushion. I clutched my face in my hands. I couldn’t deal with this. Not first thing after I wake-! I froze.

 

Rather than my face, my hands met something hard. Was it?... I patted the thing down, reaching around the back of my head, hoping my suspicion was wrong, that the wrapped around my head wasn’t what I thought it was.

 

It was.

 

Heavy straps pressuring my skull left no room for misinterpretation. I was wearing a $^&*ing muzzle*. Someone $^&*ing  _ muzzled _ me.

 

I hauled myself to my feet, right hand embedded claws-deep in the padded wall. I almost collapsed again as my shoulder jostled. A low hiss escaped my jaws.

 

I was  _ done. _ It was too $^&*ing much. Questions tore at my mind, but I had no answers to sate them. Where was I? Why was I wearing a muzzle?

 

And most important of all:

 

Where was Kuro!?

 

I called for my friend, voice cracking as I got more and more desperate with each unanswered call.

 

“ _ Kur _ o? _ K _ ur _ o? _ !”

 

He wasn’t answering. Why wasn’t he answering? Could he hear me? Where was he?

 

Questions rushed my mind. Terror was digging in its claws. I couldn’t keep up.

 

I clawed at the muzzle. Something wet trickled down my head. I drew a hand away, claws covered in my blood. Apparently my brain was a too bit preoccupied to register pain.

 

Things got a bit fuzzy after that. I was in full panic mode. Nothing was familiar. I was in pain. The next thing I was aware I was pinned. At that point I couldn’t think, only react. I didn’t care who or what it was. I wanted it  _ off. _

 

I thrashed against whatever grabbed my arms, my chest. A sound rose, a threat laid over the air. Another thing pinned my legs. My tail wrapped around something hard and thin.

 

Something brushed against it. No sooner did the light touch register than the limb go limp. My body promptly followed suit. Something rumbled low against my chest. The other noise -I had been hissing- faded before a new sound.

 

A purr.

 

He was here. He was alive.

 

High-strung desperation faded from my mind. I let myself relax for the first time since waking.

 

The things -now I could think clearly I recognised them as forked poles- drew back.

 

I wasn’t in any mood for getting up at that point. I’d just shut my eyes and lay there, perplexed, in pain, with my demonic buddy nuzzling at my face.

 

…

 

Something -probably a pole- nudged my side. I ignored it. Wasn’t in any mood for that $#!^. Another nudge. Kuro hissed.

 

_ “Piss off you %&^@$^#@!#$%^%!!!” _

 

I raised an eyebrow at the curse. He usually didn’t…

 

Someone interrupted my thoughts with probably the stupidest possible question.

 

“How do you feel?”

 

I cracked open an eye to level my best “you’re an inconceivably massive idiot**” glare at the speaker.

 

They seemed to be waiting for an answer, so I suppose they should get one.

 

I raised my uninjured arm, and flipped them off.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If anyone is wondering why they muzzled Rin, there are a few reasons. Some can be inferred, some will be explained.
> 
>  
> 
> *If anyone is wondering how he could scream or open his mouth while wearing a muzzle, it’s pretty simple. The muzzle he’s wearing doesn’t restrict jaw movement, rather it’s more of a barrier in between his mouth and whatever he would bite.
> 
> **A.k.a. The “Yukio is done with your $#!^” glare


	14. They have a hospital code for everything now

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact: the title isn't exactly an exaggeration. There's a code for injuries sustained due to water skis on fire.
> 
> Tony POV

I put my hand over my face and rubbed at my temples. My head of staff waited, patient. He and I both knew it wouldn’t be a good idea to interrupt the first moment I gave myself to breathe since supernatural fight club broke out in the hall.

 

Everything had been quiet for about half a day after, but this was still the first time I’d let myself take a break monitoring from the rooms. I think Bruce might have gone through on his crowbar threat if hadn’t.

 

He, I, my head of staff Arnie, and Captain FreezerBurn sat at a table in the employee lounge. Nat and Clint were still patrolling the halls. They said something about making sure things were done right before glaring at me until I left. I hadn’t wanted to, but they had insisted I at least get out of the monitoring room. So we compromised and voila, we’re all in the care and containment ward’s lounge.

 

It wasn’t a bad spot either. While we might not be housing dinosaurs at the moment, I had spared no expense on this place.

 

“Okay,” first let’s to make sure everything’s in order, “let’s be sure we have the quick things out of the way. What’s the tetanus shot situation?”

 

“Everyone bitten has received one.” Arnie said.

 

“Good. Is anyone bleeding out?”

 

“No.”

 

“Also good.”

 

“Is the doctor's hand okay?” Steve cut in before I could ask my next question.

 

“I checked on that one. It’s as okay as it can be after the kid chomped it.” Bruce said.

 

“I thought I was asking the questions here, but fine. Is anyone messing with their bandages?” I asked. The bird had yet to wake, but the kid had done a number chewing on his the few minutes he had been half-awake. We hadn’t expected him to wake so soon. The doctor hadn’t finished wrapping the kids shoulder, and you can imagine where things went from there.

 

“None of the staff has reported any kind of tampering.” I smirked. Score twelve hundred eighty seven for cameras.

 

“Good.”

 

“Point-Break give everyone the demon run-down?”

 

“Yes.”

 

Thor claimed he didn’t know much on the subject of demons, but it was more than any of us knew. According to him demons were devious tricksters, true chaotic neutral. Not to mention fiercely possessive. Once they claimed something as their own, nothing but destruction would keep them from it. They usually did what they wanted when wanted and answered to no one but the demon king Surtr. They could take many forms, but he had never heard of demons like the ones that threw down in my hallway. Not to mention he said something about them feeling like no demons he had ever encountered, so that’s just  _ wonderful _ .

 

A voice cracked over the intercom.

 

“Code eleven-sixty eight solution nine on room two.”

 

Also  _ wonderful _ . Wait, what was code eleven-sixty eight solution nine again? C’mon Tony, think. You should know this.

 

“Hey,” I whispered to Steve, “what was code eleven-sixty eight solution nine again?”

 

“That’s freak out and injury of non-human due to means yet to be determined, solved by a non-human, non-robotic entity. You wrote the codes, how do you not know this?”

 

I shrugged.

 

“Memory is not my strong suit. I make up for it with everything else.”

 

“Regardless of Tony’s memory issues,” Bruce cut in, “We have bigger issues at the moment.”

 

“Yeah, like why do interesting things only happen when you  _ aren’t _ watching?” I got up and made for the door, “I’m checking this thing out for myself.”

 

Steve let off a long-suffering sigh and muttered something about “we just got him out of there” as he got up to follow me.

 

Bruce glanced between me, Captain Rhinovirus, and Arnie. He sighed, put his head in his hand, took a deep breath, and rose to follow us.

 

A certain g-d of thunder was already waiting by the door when we got there. He was chatting with one of the two human guards standing watch. The robotic ones stood vigilant as always*.

 

“Ah, friends. It is good to see you here. I was merely getting the full story from your guards. It is an…  _ interesting _ tale, to say the least.”

 

I raised an eyebrow.

 

“Is that so?”

 

“Aye.”

 

“Care to elaborate?”

 

The g-d of thunder crossed his arms, “Not particularly.”

 

Why that little-

 

The captain cut off my train of thought, “What happened?”

 

“It seems the suti** woke up disoriented. It appears his attempts to orient were interrupted by pain…”

 

Point-Break went on to explain how “the suti” freaked out, clawed up a few things, screamed for his demon-cat, and had to be restrained when he started injuring himself. He wouldn’t calm down until he was reunited with his cat which  _ showed up _ because apparently Thor decided  _ literally releasing a demon  _ would be a good idea***. Then again, after hearing about the whole thing with Surtr the last bit shouldn’t really surprise me.

 

One thing really stuck out to me in his whole spiel though.

 

The kid’s up. Or, well, not exactly  _ up, _ but at least awake-ish.

 

An excited grin crept across my face, “So, the kid’s awake? And calm you say? Let’s see him then.” I clasped my hands together and rubbed them with giddy eagerness. This guy had a few things to explain.

 

Thor shook his head, “I would not recommend it.”

 

“At least get the kid some water first.” Steve added his two cents.

 

I thought for a moment. Water would probably be a good idea. A peace offering of sorts.

 

“Okay, fine. Hey,” I turned to a passing employee, “could you grab us a thing of water? Thanks.”

 

The guy hurried off and I turned back to my companions. It was an awkward few minutes as we waited for the water. Thor attempted to alleviate it by staring up a conversation, asking what sort of cellular phone he should buy. He was looking for something durable, so I recommended a nokia. That left another awkward minute I tried to fill by going over questions to ask. Everyone perked up when the employee finally returned with a pitcher and a few cups.

 

“Thank you!” I chirped, taking the containers. “Let’s go then.”

 

A hand on my shoulder stopped me before I could open the door.

 

“Do not startle him, do not accuse him of anything, and whatever you do, do  _ not _ threaten to separate them.” Thor warned.

 

I almost rolled my eyes at the over-serious tone, but agreed nonetheless.

 

The captain opened the door.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *You gotta have backups in case one set gets hacked
> 
> **Suti is the Aesir word for a baby demon. Pronounced like “sooty”.
> 
> ***I mean, this time it worked out, sure. But that’s the kind of thing you run past the group before doing.
> 
>  
> 
> What Tony didn’t know of course, was that Thor could understand both parties. This means he heard Kuro screaming for Rin along with watching him claw up his own room in desperation to get to him. Despite the rooms being soundproof, those two know when the other needs them.
> 
> And for anyone wondering why Rin was chewing at his bandages, it’s pretty simple: he was half awake and they were itchy.


	15. Rin isn't here right now, please leave a ... oh, we're talking face to face. Crap.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rin POV

I’m not sure how long it had been since Kuro got back, but when the door opened I knew it was most definitely not enough. We were even having a good* time.

 

Not caring who just came in, I flipped them off without so much as opening my eyes. I’m nopeing the $#!& out of whatever they want with me. I couldn’t manage much more than a few embers, but if anyone disturbed me they were going to get those embers in the _face._

 

“I suppose co-operation’s off the table then?” Oh, $#!&. Before the proper mortification of flipping off my employer could set in, the runaway train of a situation was interrupted by a sound I knew well.

 

I heard someone get smacked upside the head.

 

“Don’t go jumping to conclusions _just_ yet. I’ve seen my fair share of injured soldiers. That’s actually a pretty tame reaction**.”

 

Okay, someone I don’t know just defended me. I opened my eyes, the sight before me not making even my top 50 weirdest.

 

Mr. Stark’s collar was held by a man I had seen walking the halls every so often. The -possibly- resident g-d of thunder stood to the side, leaning forward to get a better view.

 

“So, assuming co-operation's not off the table, how you be?” Despite his awkward position, I could _hear_ the $#!%-eating grin in his voice***. Screw it, employer or not I wasn’t dealing with his $#! & right now.

 

A tired glare and a hiss courtesy of Kuro was his only answer.

 

The man holding Mr. Stark’s collar rolled his eyes and muttered, “I knew bringing him was a bad idea. But we brought him anyways. Why did we bring him again?”

 

“Because I own this place.” Mr. Stark answered the rhetorical question.

 

“What I believe he _means_ to ask,” the g-d of thunder shook off his bemusement, “is who exactly _are_ you?”

 

“I know what I meant to ask!” My employer snapped at the g-d of thunder before turning a thoughtful face to me, “however, yeah. I’d like to know that too.”

 

I blinked at the vaudeville act of an interrogation attempt.

 

“Um… what?”

 

“What what?”

 

The man dropped Mr. Stark and brought his hand up to his face, muttering, “Why did I let them in? Why didn’t I insist Nat and Clint come with us? Why…”

 

Kuro and I exchanged a look. All I had done was flip a guy off. The rest of this madness was their doing, right?

 

Before I could get an answer to my unaired question the man shook off his self-imposed funk.

 

“Alright, let’s reset. And you don’t look like you’re going to maul me if I do this, so.” He stuck his hand out for me to shake. “Hi, I’m Steve.”

 

I blinked at it for a moment before shaking. Even after I dropped his hand it stayed out, an offer to help me up. Some might stop for longer, weigh the pros and cons of interacting physically, but no one’s ever accused me of being overly cautious around people.

 

I hauled myself to my feet with his help. Kuro scampered from his resting place on my chest to one on my head.

 

“I’m Rin. And now we’ve established I’m not going to maul anybody, could somebody get this b _loo_ dy t _hi_ n _g of_ f m _e_!” I gestured to the stupid contraption wrapped around my head.

 

“Oh, right.” Steve grinned sheepishly, “Sorry about that. Nobody knew what you were going to do, so…”

 

“Good, fine, whatever. I _really_ don’t care. Just get this thing off!... Please.”

 

The hairs on the back of my neck prickled at a practical strangers’ hands so close to the back of my neck, but I forced myself to hold still. I tamped down the urge to hiss at the stupid thing as it was unbuckled and lifted from my face; instead deciding to celebrate my face’s release by listening to my other urge, and gave my nose a vigorous scratching.

 

“Fine, don’t consult us before doing something like that. It’s not like we’re a team or anything.” My employer’s voice oozed sarcasm.

 

“He’s a...” Steve’s attention snapped back to me, “you _are_ a kid, not some ancient being, right?”

 

I nodded.

 

“Right.” He turned back to mr. Stark, “He’s a kid.”

 

“While I’m inclined to believe he isn’t a danger at the moment, we _will_ have a conversation about this later.” My employer addressed Steve, before fading off into muttering, “a _kid,_ I swear… didn’t exactly matter with…”

 

I jumped at the deity in the room’s voice directly at my side. How- when- movement?!

 

“More importantly, he has been remarkably amicable for a suti.”

 

The odd comment gave me pause. Remarcably what for a what? Why would he- unless…

 

My tongue flickered over my lips, wetting them in a nervous motion. Kuro’s fur prickled. I edged away from the deity. He merely watched me. I threw on an uneasy grin, one which faded as quick as it came. Probably didn’t help either, come to think of it.

 

“Would it be possible to forget about this whole thing?” Unlikely as it was, it doesn’t hurt to ask, “I didn’t tell Lark I’d be gone this long and I _don’t_ want to get fired from another job.”

 

I could _feel_ Kuro staring at my employer, silently urging him to drop it.

 

Tony ignored him with the practiced ease of one more than used to shrugging off the urges of others to do the smart thing. Instead, he blinked at me, unsure how to respond for about three seconds, “Your shoulder is _shredded._ ”

 

I almost shrugged.

 

“I have another shoulder, right?”

 

 _“Not unless you’ve somehow managed to injure yourself in the last ten seconds without anyone noticing,”_ Snarked Kuro, before turning somber, _“but you are_ not _going out there like this.”_

 

“But!-”

 

_“If they fire you, I’ll eat them.”_

 

I paused.

 

_“That really wouldn’t help.”_

 

His tail twitched in the cat version of a shrug, _“The offer’s still open.”_

 

“Anyways,” I turned my attention back to my employer, “that wasn’t a yes or no. Can we pretend this never happened?”

 

He didn’t have the chance or need to respond.

 

The crashing roar and thundering of heavy footsteps through the building was answer enough enough. The yelling and crunch of a door breaking down the hallway was just excessive.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Well, as good a time as one can have in their situation. See: collapsed on the floor trying not to focus on the pain.
> 
> **I could not find any kind of information on how injured soldiers react, but I’m thinking some strong language is pretty par for the course for anyone not in shock or on pain meds. If anyone reading this knowledge on the subject I’d love to chat about it in the comments (if you’re up for it).
> 
> ***Anyone here kvetching about Stark being out of character, might I remind you, the dude really likes learning new things, and empathy is not his strong suit. He’s not particularly joyful over the pain of another person, he’s just excited to learn.


	16. This isn't why they invented knocking either

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See if you can figure out POV

I was the first one awake. That was easy to tell. So was the fact I was in pain. My back, my lungs; I didn’t know they could ache like that.

 

And something was wrong, very wrong. Not just aching, something was… missing. I consciously smoothed my ruffled feathers and took a deep breath. We made a checklist for this kind of thing. First, heads. I glanced over to Thought, still asleep. Okay, good start. Limbs? The lower ones feel weird, sort of a vague tingling but they were still there. Not good, but something we would address later. Back?... no. No. I only had half. No, this couldn’t. It was gone.

 

My wing was gone. My wing was gone.  _ My wing was gone. _

 

My wail tore the air. I couldn’t do this.

 

“Memory!” I cried. I couldn’t do this. Not alone.

 

Memory wasn’t up. She should be up. We always woke up right after one another.

 

“Memory, come on. Get up. Are you awake? I need your help. We’re in bad shape right now. Why are we like this? What happened? Get up! Get up, please! Please, get up! Please! Please.”

 

She still wasn’t up. Something was wrong. What was wrong? I glanced around, maybe someone here could help- no.

  
“Please.” I rasped one final time.

 

We were by ourselves in a white room. Where were we? What’s going on?! My attention drew back to Memory, still prone on the padded floor. Why wasn’t she awake?! I couldn’t do this alone. I couldn’t.

 

An idea broke crashed into my panicked haze. I latched onto it like a drowning man and, gingerly, brushed the back of her skull, under her crest. A scritch there would wake her.

 

Should wake her.

 

She still wasn’t waking. Why wasn’t she-!

 

She stirred. I ruffled our feathers and let them settle in relief.

 

“You’re awake. I was so worried-”

 

“Stay worried. Stay alert. I don’t know where we are and,” she turned to face me. I almost threw up. Her eye, “I lost an eye.”

 

No. This couldn’t be happening. No No No. She couldn’t- we can’t- no.

 

A nudge at my neck cut off my rising panic.

 

“Stop. Slow down. We’ll get through this, we always have.”

 

I stopped gasping for air. I stopped breathing all together, simply let her take over. Oxygen starvation wasn’t never my favorite tranquilizer, but now it was the only one I could think of. 

 

Only five seconds though. Only five seconds of breathlessness before she roused me. Any longer wasn’t safe.

 

“Thank you.” I croaked.

 

“What now?” Memory asked.

 

Good question. Good question. One I had no idea how to answer. I always had an idea. I should answer. I took in a deep lungful of air. Come on Thought, think.

 

“Alright, first we should get up.”

 

Pain, jagged and sharp, sliced our torso. I stumbled, Memory caught us and took over. She dragged us to a metal perch in the middle of the room.

 

Memory let our claws sink into the metal, and me her thoughts. She let me wrap myself in a time we were safe, comfortable. When we perched on His shoulder, whispered Him the day’s events. He would smile, feed us a scrap from His table. Memories wrapped me in a downy peace, Memory’s neck draping over mine as my calm crept through her consciousness.

 

We could do this. He made it through life with one eye perfectly fine.

 

I took a moment, let everything sink in. If I had a lip I’d be biting it. As it was, I began to preen. This wasn’t going to be easy, but we could make it work.

 

A realization struck me.

 

“We don’t need to do this alone.”

 

“Hmm?” Memory’s half-asleep voice drawled.

 

“Didn’t TiA tell us to report back when we were done?”

 

“Yeah,” She yawned, “Why’d we agree to do that again?”

 

The underlying truth of ‘they already know’ was left unsaid.

 

“I don’t know, but they always do. And sooner or later they’re going to send someone to help.”

 

.

.

.

 

And judging by They that Crushes breaking down the door, it’s sooner.

 

“Barb!” They almost laughed, “I’m so glad to see…”

 

I’d usually stick the big lug with a wing shard at the nickname; but in my current state I gave the TtC a strained grin. Their smile vanished when faced with my mutilated form. Their many, many eyes narrowed and their back plates ruffled in agitation.

 

“Who-” They growled, but I cut him off. There wasn’t time.

 

“We’re happy to see you too, but now isn’t the time for talk. We need to go.” The clatter of footsteps punctuated my statement.

 

They that Crushes ground their teeth in frustration, but didn’t argue. They knew what needed to be done, why TiA sent  _ them. _

 

TtC scuttled forward, and ever so slowly lowered themself. We shuffled forward as best as we could, but wound up giving in halfway to TtC. They scrambled forward, catching us just before we hit the floor, instead collapsing on their thick tongues. They that Crushes let out a hearty huff of relief through their nose...just before people who I assume were our captors showed up.

 

“$#!&?! Again?!” A new voice swore.

 

We stiffened. I hoped it wouldn’t come to this, but…

 

I snaked my head out to lock eyes with two of TtC’s. We knew what had to be done, but… none of us liked it. Feathers don’t feel nice for either party. I psyched myself up for this, and gave a short nod before ducking back behind their teeth.

 

“Ew reh-ee?” TtC asked.

 

I took in one last deep breath, bracing against the oncoming pain, “As ready as we’ll ever be.”

 

With that, they swallowed us.

 

Warm and slimy, things squeezed on all sides for a few long moments. Sharp jolts of agony ran through us in those scant seconds before we dropped into a slightly larger area. It wasn’t exactly roomy, but we could at least move a  _ few _ inches in any given direction. Nothing pressed against us, and the bolts of agony quickly faded to a softer, grinding ache. The unpleasant stickiness of wet feathers wasn’t something I was usually thankful for, but now I welcomed the distraction.

 

“I swear,” Their voice resonated around us, “when we find who did this…”

 

I jabbed their stomach.

 

“Not now.” I chided.

 

“Right, right.”

 

“Stand down.” A new voice demanded.

 

TtC’s stomach stretched as they puffed out their chest. Our entire being rattled at their deep growl of a response.

 

“No.”

 

“Stand down.” The voice repeated.

 

The world tilted, TtC lowered themself to a more defensive posture.

 

“Stand. Down.” The voice had an air of finality about it.

 

A sharp clack rang in our ear-spots and wind fresh air rushed over us. They that Crushes must have snapped their teeth at them. I resisted Memory’s urge to ruffle our feathers in trepidation. Understandable as the urge was, the last thing we wanted to do right now was give TtC an upset stomach.

 

Luckily, before anyone could make the first move, a new, familiar voice cut in.

 

“Stop.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quick note: TtC has three stomachs, the first of which is essentially a storage compartment for when the other two are full. The first doesn’t contain any kind of acid, so TtC sometimes uses it as a short-term storage compartment; they don’t have any kind of opposable thumbs and mainly use their mouth to fight.


	17. In which Rin completes his transformation to disgruntled kitten

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before we begin: It has been brought to my attention the last chapter was confusing to a number of people. I apologize for this, it was not my intention. Hopefully this chapter and the next will clear up most if not all of the confusion. Any further questions are welcome. I’ll do my best to answer, but I ask you, if you can, save them until after the next chapter. If you still have them then, feel free. If you can’t wait, I’m not going to stop you from asking now.
> 
> Rin POV

“Not my fault!” I yelped.

 

Steve’s attention snapped back to me. He raised an eyebrow at the odd interjection, but otherwise ignored it.

 

“You’re staying  _ here. _ ” Steve ordered.

 

My opinion of  _ that _ command were apparent in both my expression and actions. I brushed past Steve. I may be injured and exhausted, but that’s no excuse. Okay, yes it is, but… ya know what I mean!

 

I  _ did _ stop though, when the world hazed at the edges and warmth crashed over me. I stumbled, almost falling, but something held me. The floor left my feet, a pressure, something had me at the the back of my neck. Was… the world kept hazing… was someone  _ scruffing _ me?

 

_ “ _ You’re  _ not going anywhere.” _ Kuro chided. Yup, my friend’s scruffing me.

 

We took off down the hall, arriving to see a creature and a broken door. Now, normally this wouldn’t be so big a deal, but I didn’t recognise a single part of the creature.

 

The creature -from what I could see through the fuzz- was big. Like, a small train car, big. Like, nope, I’m not fighting that thing, I’m totally wasted and I can still tell going up against it is a Bad Idea, big.

 

And red. Well, more of a reddish-brown color, like rust. And blue. Really blue.

 

Someone -Steve I think- barked something. The creature puffed out its chest.

 

This, of course, lead to posturing on both sides.

 

This lasted until the g-d being stepped between Steve and the creature, “Stop.”

 

His tone was one of authority, something I didn’t usually care about for various reasons. But this guy’s voice snagged something deep in my chest. If I  _ had  _ been doing anything I would’ve at least paused. As it was, a deep rumbling I hadn’t been aware of stopped as Kuro ceased his growling. He lowered me to the floor and reality snapped back into focus.

 

My previous observations were correct, the thing was big, and mainly rust colored. Thick, armored plates decorated the back, which in turn was decorated with a blue pattern like crumbling ruins. Those plates ran down the back to a thick tail ending in a similarly plated club. The creature stood on six stocky legs, the first set equipped with short, thick claws. The legs weren’t exactly distributed evenly either, a distribution most likely a prerequisite for a head like that. 

 

And what a mug it was. Almost the length of the body, and just as tall and wide, the head was a thing to behold. It’s eyes -I’d estimate somewhere between twelve and who cares, twelve pairs is way too many eyes, seriously, who  _ cares* _ \- were small, set in a horizontal row on each side of the head.

 

A large crest ran along the top, mirrored by a row of spikes running down the chin; which, of course, brought us to the last, and most important part of the creature: teeth. Those things were  _ way _ too human, if humans had teeth the size of dinner plates. The pearly whites stood stark against the red-brown skin, no gums required. And they went  _ all _ the way back.

 

A dentist would probably faint looking at that mouth for  _ all the reasons _ .

 

Thor, on the other hand seemed anything but weak at the knees, “Good, now: what are you doing here?”

 

The creature blinked, a rolling affair consisting of one set of eyes closing at a time, rolling from the first set back. It was almost millipede-like, simultaneously mesmerizing and unnerving.

 

“What do you want?“ Thor repeated. Movement caught my eye, someone sneaking into the room.

 

The creature didn’t respond, instead pausing. Three thick tongues flicked over its teeth. It opened its mouth to respond, but stopped and closed it again. A silence fell over the hall, a few seconds of tension broken when the sneaky man spoke up.

 

“Guys, Polly’s gone.”

 

The creature growled, again shaking the floor. It lowered itself further, eyes narrowing.

 

“Hmm...” Thor’s tone was one of consideration, “I see. Barton, come back here,  _ slowly. _ ”

 

“Hey, do you have any kind of idea about what’s going on here?” I jumped a bit at Steve’s voice in my ear.

 

I stared at him for a moment before answering, “Not really.”

 

“We are not going to hurt them.” Thor’s soothing tone drew our attention back to the standoff. The creature’s massive head tilted in question.

 

“I swear on my father’s name, unless you strike first, no harm will become of them.”

 

Everyone’s question of: Who? Was immediately answered when the creature threw up the bird that tried to kill me.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *For anyone who does care, there are fifteen pairs of eyes
> 
> **Clint and Nat respectively


	18. What’s going on here: The Chapter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cap POV

“Are you _crazy?!_ ” The left bird head screeched.

 

“He _swore_ you wouldn’t be hurt _._ You need _help_.”

 

“You have trust issues,” The right one said, “specifically too much of it.”

 

“Unlike _some_ people, _I_ try to see the best in people.”

 

“Kid, you’ve got thirty eyes.” The left head noted, “don’t think sight is an issue for you.”

 

“Besides,” the right head continued, “ _you_ haven’t scoured the fields like we have. _You_ haven’t seen firsthand what people can do.”

 

A flat stare given with thirty eyes is an interesting sight, one which I would recommend not seeing at all costs.

 

The creature’s tone was as flat as it’s stare, “Weren’t you the one who said we didn’t have the time for this?”

 

“Um, quick question.” Tony interjected before the bird had the chance to answer, “What the actual $#!& is going on?!”

 

“Yes,” I turned to Thor, “what _is_ going on?”

 

The deity’s smile was one of a person who knows something you don’t, “I believe introductions are in order.” He gestured to the two creatures, “I am Thor, son of Odin, ruler of Asgard. But I’m sure _you_ already knew that.” He nodded at the bird.

 

The left bird head was preoccupied glaring daggers at the toothy creature, but the right head nodded. A low keen escaped it’s jaws and it shrank back under the deity’s gaze. “We never wanted you to see us like this. _He_ never wanted you to see us like this.”

 

The left head straightened, “What’s done is done. Now we have to deal with the now.”

 

The right head closed it’s remaining eye and nodded, bracing itself for something.

 

“We are They who Shred.” The echoing dual tone of both heads speaking as one was less disturbing than it should have been*. It somehow sounded like the more natural way for them to speak, but at the same time they were rusty, out of practice. That train of thought was derailed before it left the station though, as the only other being in the room with an odd number of eyes spoke up.

 

“No.” Thor corrected them, “you’re not. Try again.”

 

“We are!” They who Shred(?) protested.

 

“No. You’re not. Tell us who you really are.”

 

“But-”

 

“I don’t care what she did, what you did. You are still them. You still hold claim to their title.”

 

Watching a two-headed vulture creature give a nervous swallow is another weird sight I would recommend never seeing.

 

“Or do you wish to deny your legacy? Our legacy?”

 

“Yes. No.”

 

Thor raised an eyebrow.

 

“Good. It’s not something to be proud of, but it’s something we have to face.”

 

“Okay,” I cut in, and I had the feeling if I didn’t speak up soon things were going to get extremely uncomfortable for everyone extraordinarily fast, “I’m not entirely sure what’s going on here, but we have a name. That’s good, but what exactly is going on here? And who is that?” I gestured to the toothy creature.

 

“I’m They that Crushes.” It said.

 

“Nice to meet you. Next time though, try knocking.” I nodded at They that Crushes, and turned back to They who Shred and Thor, “Now, what exactly is going on here?”

 

They who Shred lowered themself, ashamed. “I am Thought,” The left head said.

 

“And I am Memory,” finished the left.

 

“That’s nice,” Tony drawled, “but _who exactly are you_ … people? I’m gonna go with people.”

 

“I do not know who they,” Thor gestured to They that Crushes, “are, but Thought and Memory are, or _were,_ my father’s informants.”

 

Rin took advantage of the ensuing silence, “Assuming no one’s gonna try and kill me in the next five minutes, I think we’re going to need to find a more comfortable place to talk.”

 

*o*o*o*

 

After the briefest debate I’d heard in a _long_ time, it was decided we would hold the conversation in the lounge. It was a comfy, with nice lighting, cozy seats, and -thanks to a broken window- absolutely wonderful ventilation.

 

“Before we start, is everyone okay being in the presence of those who attempted to kill or maim them?” Thor asked.

 

The cook rolled his eyes, “If I held a grudge against everyone who tried to get me at some point or another, I’d have a lot fewer friends.”

 

I threw him a skeptical look. He shrugged, then winced.

 

“I’m not known for my good choice making or social skills.”

 

“Anyway, questionable social skills aside-” Tony began.

 

“You’re not one to talk.” Natasha voiced her two cents.

 

“Anywho-” Tony tried to start again.

 

“Does anyone need any medical attention?” I asked. Another thing needed to be addressed before we got into the meat of things.

 

“Besides needing a pound of painkillers and another limb, I’m fine.” The left bird head snapped.

 

“If you’ve got a spare eye, that’d be nice.” The right one said.

 

“I’m good.” They that Crushes muttered.

 

“Those painkillers sound like a good idea,” The cook piped up, and ran his tongue over his teeth, “and maybe a toothbrush?”

 

I asked a passing employee to grab those, and we were finally set to begin what I _hoped_ would be an illuminating conversation.

 

“Anyhowzidinkle-” Tony started.

 

The cook cut him off this time, “I’m pretty sure he’s just making up words now.”

 

“Yes, he is; he does that. I try to ignore it.” It, and the daggers he was glaring at me.

 

“Got it, uh… how are we going to go about this-” Rin gestured to the room as a whole.

 

Tony had enough, “You know what? How about this, I’ll tell you a thing, you’ll tell me a thing. Deal? Good. I’ll start. My name is Tony Stark, I’m a human. You,” he pointed at Rin, “go.”

 

“Uh, okay? My name is Rin Okumura, and I’m… no comment? Can I do that?”

 

I shook my head. Tony’s way of going about it wouldn’t have been my first choice, but it’s what we were going with. And everyone had to answer.

 

Thor decided it was a good time to chip in, “They are of Muspelheim.”

 

A pause settled over the conversation as everyone tried to parse out what exactly the deity just said. The kid was the first to respond, “I don’t really know what that means, but I’m pretty sure it’s wrong.”

 

Thor shook his head, “You wield blue flames, the flames of The Outcast.”

 

I swear, the moment Thor mentioned blue flames, you could _see_ the kid’s hackles rise. His eyes narrowed to slits, the cat-demon curled closer around his shoulders.

 

Tony, ever observant, managed to ignore the whole situation and decided to question Thor on what in the holy babka** he just said, “Run that by us one more time?”

 

“He wields blue flames. The only one who wields blue flames is The Outcast”

 

Tony shook his head, “Nope, still didn’t get it.”

 

Thor rolled his eyes, “You requested I repeat myself, thus I did.”

 

“Yeah, but that wasn’t- you didn’t- raise your hand if you’re still confused.” Tony chimed in. Every humanoid hand beside Thor’s went up. Thor, on his part, threw his gaze to the ceiling in a look of “why me”?

 

“Do Midgardians forget everything?” He shook his head, “Nevermind, I suppose this simply means the tale must be told again.” He cleared his throat.

 

“Legends tell of a powerful demon, one who ruled Muspelheim before Sutr…”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Admittedly, not a high bar
> 
> **authors note: I came across this phrase when I was proofreading this chapter. I have no recollection of writing it, nor do I have any idea of what it was originally supposed to be.
> 
> Alternate chapter titles include:
> 
> More vaudeville where it shouldn’t be
> 
> Confusion: the chapter
> 
> Negotiations! Intrigue! A Cake!... two outta three ain’t bad
> 
> Group therapy: WTF edition
> 
> We’re just going to keep asking this question until we get a satisfactory answer


	19. What's Going on Here Two: Electric What Are You?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rin POV

“The demon was known as Suranth, and he alone wielded blue flames. None knew what he looked like precisely, as none who saw him could withstand the blinding light of his flames. This left him lonely and bitter, so he decided if none could bear to view him, he may as well use that to his advantage.

 

Thus, his climb to the top began. In all truth, it wasn’t much of a climb, he simply walked into the position. He overthrew the old demon lord with ease, and seated himself upon the throne.

 

It is said he ruled for eight-thousand years, and sired one child for each thousand-years. Each time he chose different dam from a different realm hopping to find a race strong enough to wed. But all died soon after giving birth, leaving him with a half-demon child of every race but one: midgard. None of his sons could harness his power though, and each was relegated to rule a different section of Muspelheim.

 

The demon lord and his spawn tried to rule the realm with a steady hand, and were said to be harsh, but fair.

 

But one can never please everyone, so came the day when revolution struck, lead by Sutr.” Thor muttered something about pamphlets under his breath before continuing,

 

“He had attempted to turn each of the demon lord’s sons against him, as they alone could withstand looking upon him, but none would hear his plans. His loathing for the regime grew each time they turned him away, but there was nothing he could do to change their minds. So, his first idea foiled before it could even begin, Sutr gouged his own eyes out, and -guided by the sound of foreign flames and dying comrades- struck a blow against the demon lord. None had ever managed to damage Suranth before, and he was not used to the pain, so he and his kin fled.

 

To heal his sight, Sutr’s new subjects enlisted the aid of Bjort, who was… less than enthusiastic. Nonetheless, she fashioned him new eyes, made of two of Muspelheim’s ever-burning coals.

 

Suranth and his sons fled, but Sutr was not one to let a grudge go so easily. The new kind sent forth his swiftest servants, blinding and unleashing them hound the old king and his sons all across the nine realms. Suranth was less than amused by his harassers, and when a pursuer wounded one of his children he knew things could not go on as they were.

 

He debated what to do for three days and three nights, pacing a trench through the hills of Jotunheim. On the third night a conclusion was reached, one which lay heavy on Suranth’s heart.

 

They were to leave. Not just Muspelheim, they were to leave yggdrasil entirely.

 

No one knows where they went, or how, but the old lord and his kin have not been sighted since.

 

It is said none powerful enough to wield blue flames have been born after his leaving, but it seems that has changed.” His head inclined towards me, a gesture to fill in the rest.

 

“Um…” The room collectively raised an eyebrow at my lack of response. Even They that Shred and They that Crushes, who didn’t even have hair, much less eyebrows.

 

“Hmm… I, uh… I’m going to need a minute to, uh, what’s the word, word, eh… process this… stuff.”

 

And with that I flopped across the couch, stomach across the lap of the scary lady. I closed my eyes, and of course, cats never waste an opportunity so I was soon trying to breathe through a demon-cat. 

 

A few seconds of silence passed broken by -who else- Tony, “A hundred bucks says he’s The Outcast.”

 

I lifted Kuro from my face to glare at Tony, but quickly returned to the previous cat-face position. Another minute of quiet passed, each second growing exponentially awkward. I blocked it out as best I could. Come on Rin, think. How do you go about breaking the news that you’re the Antichrist. Maybe I should ease into it? But how… maybe I should stall and figure out how to break it later?

 

I removed Kuro from my face and sat up, a hard-set look of determination hopefully masking my fear.

 

“So, uh… I guess I need to let ya people in on a few things. First, let’s get this out of the way: I’m not evil.”

 

Clint threw me a side eye, “Okay, no one was accusing you of that, but go on…”

 

“I know, just thought I might as well state it for good. Second thing: I’m pretty sure I’m from a different reality.”

 

Steve nodded, “Okay… what?”

 

I shrugged and winced. Seriously me, stop shrugging, “I’m from another reality. Uh…”

 

The bird cut in before I could gather my thoughts, “We think we have an idea. However, we don’t wish to explain things twice, and thus request a change of location.”

 

“Later.” Tony said, “First though, I’d like to get the run-down on exactly  _ why _ mr. I’m-not-evil over there thinks he’s in a different dimension, why he feels the need to assure us he’s not evil, and  _ that, _ ” he pointed to the toothy creature, “guy’s name.”

 

I perked up at Tony’s question. Finally, something I could talk about without revealing something that could add me to someone’s ‘kill on sight’ list, “Oh, that’s easy. Ya can all see Kuro.”

 

Natasha gave a go-on gesture.

 

“Where I’m from, no one can see demons unless they’ve been on the wrong end of an attack. Everyone I’ve come across can see Kuro, so unless everyone I’ve run into has received a, uh...” I paused for a moment, thinking, what was the word in English? Ah, screw it, “I can’t really translate the word, so let’s call it a demon-wound. Unless everyone I’ve run into has received a demon-wound, I’m in another reality.”

 

Steve held up a hand in a ‘stop’ gesture, “He’s a demon?” he pointed to Kuro.

 

“Yes?” the answer came out as more of a question, but it didn’t matter.

 

“If people usually can’t see  _ Kuro _ without being damaged by a demon, then are we to assume people can usually see you just fine?” The scary lady asked, eyes ever-so-slightly narrowed.

 

I don’t know where the conversation is going, but I’m getting a bad feeling about it. Still, I needed to answer. I nodded.

 

“Then why did you tell us  _ you _ weren’t evil?”

 

“... Pass?” I tried again, wincing at the flimsy deflection.

 

“You can’t do that.” Steve chided.

 

I couldn’t meet anyone’s eyes. My tail curled against my torso, hair tickling as they raised in terror. How do I get out of this one? How? How?

 

Steve, taking pity asked, “Is it really that bad?”

 

I still couldn’t meet anyone’s eyes, “Yes.”

 

“Hey, hey,” I his snapping fingers finally broke me out of my ceiling-oriented terror, jolting my gaze to his, “Look kid, so long as you’re not a Nazi, you’re fine by me.”

 

I raised an eyebrow at the odd specification. How often did he have to deal with Nazi’s for that to be a his go-to qualification? Still, out of all the things I’ve been accused of or called during my life, Nazi wasn’t one of them.

 

“O-kay, I’m definitely not a Nazi…” I trailed off, where to go from there? My mouth worked faster than my brain, and I burst into a manic plea, “wait, shouldn’t we wait until we’re all together? They that Shred said there were others, so shouldn’t we…?” I trailed off again.

 

Silence fell over the room once more, this one filled with tension rather than awkwardness though.

 

After a long dozen or so seconds of quiet Steve sighed and nodded, “Fine kid, but you  _ are _ going to tell us when everyone’s been assembled, got it?”

 

I nodded. I don’t know how much, but I managed to buy myself  _ some _ time. Now to think of something useful during said time.

 

Tony gave a short sigh and rolled his eyes, “Fine, whatever. Let’s get going then!”

 

*o*o*o*

  
  


The plane was quiet, the only exceptions being the whine of the engines and a soft snoring from a source I couldn’t identify. If it weren’t for that, and my overwhelming  _ exhaustion,  _ things would have been immensely awkward _. _ As it was, I was on the verge of nodding off, and They that Shred was already conked out. The way their necks pretty much disappeared into their neck ruff and their heads tucked against one another was oddly adorable.

 

A knot formed in the pit of my stomach as I viewed their back-brace and eyepatch. Admittedly, I’d only damaged them when they were trying to kill me, but they’d been nothing but cordial since then. I hadn’t gotten the chance to apologize yet.

 

As it turns out, whatever society They who Shred and the toothy creature -who introduced themself as They that Crushes- were a part of had a policy of only allowing in those who could find their base on their own. Neither creature was allowed to divulge any information. And of course,  _ someone _ *cough*Tony*cough* was eager to get going as soon as possible, which led to our current situation: in a jet and half asleep.

 

Thor had been less than happy about TwS’s inability to give them a location, and even less trusting of me and Kuro. A deluge of stern looks and side-eyes from the deity later, he suggested we visit Heimdal. Apparently he saw all, and could give them -if nothing else- a place to start.

 

The only issue: he was in Iceland. Thus the plane ride.

 

My mind drifted to the conversation I’d had with Lark before leaving. She was surprisingly understanding. As it turns out, I worked in a place with unlimited off days for cases of “magical destiny BS”, two weeks off for “magical questing BS”, and three weeks off for “interdimensional BS”. This is, of course, only applied if you gave at least one hour notice before leaving*.

 

Mordechai had been particularly invested. Apparently his wife worked for a security firm who recently relocated in the area. And she’s “a bit different, kind of like you” according to Keith. I was simultaneously eager and apprehensive to meet this mystery woman. At any rate, the mute shoved a package in my hands and directed me to give it to Abigail , or as Keith put it, “the creepy security lady”. I was not to open it, nor was I to question Abigail on her anything.

 

But I didn’t need to worry about any of that right now. Heck, I couldn’t if I tried. All I could do now, was sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *This place doesn’t have a ton of trouble getting people to work for them on short notice. The big issue is vetting, and even then they have a list of people ready and waiting. Rin’s hiring was only due to a vacancy opening that day, and Tony’s impulse control or lack thereof.


	20. A Rather Blustery Day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bruce POV

I was almost blown over as soon as we stepped off the jet. Thor had instructed we land a few hundred feet from the construction site, and while I could see why, I hadn’t been expecting the wind.

 

We stood a good two dozen miles or so from the nearest major city, flatland stretching into the distance on all sides but one, behind. That was dominated by a glacier which seemed to go on forever. Green and brown below my feet melted into the fog of the distance. One would expect such a sight to be accompanied by silence or perhaps wind, and while the latter roared through the air, something else managed to creep into my ears. Sound, faint and artificially made its way over the flats.

 

I had no time to pinpoint the direction of the source, as movement to my left nearly made me jump, They who Shred appeared before me. They held their heads high, beaks to the wind. Their remaining wing unfurled halfway, giving a good view of long black primary and secondary feathers.

 

They stood there, unmoving but for the glint of ruffling feathers in the wind.

 

This went on for around a minute before I stepped around them, curious as to what they spotted. I looked to their eyes, to follow their gaze, but found their eyes shut.

 

I froze at a whoosh of air behind, but soon relaxed as out of the corner of my eye I could see their remaining wing fold to its resting position.

 

They remained like that, again unmoving despite the wind tugging their feathers.

 

Tony appeared beside me, stroking his chin.

 

“Hmm…” I could barely make his thoughtful out over the wind, but there it was. He had a professional look on his face that could mean one of two things: he’s getting an idea that’ll really help us, or we’re all going to die.

 

My trepidation must have shown on my face, because he turned to me for a moment and flashed me a comforting smile. Or, it would have been a comforting smile if it was anyone other than  _ Tony _ wearing it*.

 

I didn’t have the chance to reinvigorate my feeling of not-comforted though, as Tony approached the bi-cranial bird.

 

I couldn’t make out what they were saying, as the wind was carrying their voices the wrong way, but Tony said  _ something _ and the bird’s jaws dropped. TwS reared back and froze for a moment, before rocketing forward and saying quite a bit in a short period of time.

 

Tony merely nodded once, and made his way back to me, face somewhere between smug and determined. I threw him a questioning look, and he smiled.

 

“I offered to help her fly again.”

 

My eyes widened a bit. I really shouldn’t have been so surprised, the man  _ was _ a genius. At least when it came to machines, he never seems to understand the idea of not taking unnecessary risks.

 

Upon viewing my surprise his grin became more of a smirk.

 

“I’ve never made a prosthetic wing before, it’ll be an interesting project. Heck,” he shrugged, “might even be a challenge.”

 

As we approached, the construction site grew clearer. Tall objects silhouetted the area, interspersed with shorter, low or oddly shaped ones. A steady clanging indicated the tall things at the edge of the site were most likely drivers, hammering large metal poles into the ground. Most likely a windbreak, a thought further cemented by the mounds of earth being piled up at intervals around the edge of the site.

 

A tower stood at one side, and two large figures I couldn’t quite make out sat at the other. Smaller silhouettes stood between the two points, and it I squinted I could make out movement.

 

A noise broke the steady stream of wind, tugging my ear. A clattering, chaotic but rhythmic. It was accompanied by a thudding, steady but out of synch with itself. The noise was controlled chaos in the form of beats and sharp thuds. The cacophony rose, clawing its way above the wind in hitches and jolts, and as it did I could make out the direction it was coming from. And the four figures approaching swiftly.

 

I couldn’t make out any details at a distance, but unless my eyes were mistaking me, they were entirely black. If they kept up their velocity though, distance wouldn’t be an issue for long.

 

I wasn’t wrong.

 

Soon we were surrounded. Based on the sound beside me Tony had suited up, and the crunching of dirt and smell of ozone next to me said me all I needed to know of Thor’s position.

 

The clattering stopped. We were surrounded by shadowy figures on horseback.

 

They towered over us, a dark lance jutting towards the group from the side of each rider. Other smaller, black tools hung from their sides, hard to make out against the abyss that was the rider and steed. The horses huffed large breaths, wide white eyes staring intently at us. The people on them, less so. The riders had no head, which somehow wasn’t even the most eye-catching part of the figures.

 

The thing really drawing my attention, were the wings.

 

Massive curved wings curled up behind each rider. Each at least ten feet in length, feathers sweeping back twice that before fading. Not ending or stopping, simply fading, like the mist surrounding us.

 

Four eyes winked into existence, one above the neck of each figure. Each was the size of a softball, each a different color.

 

“We’ve been expecting you.” Cooed a voice behind me.

* * *

 

And here's a picture of the riders:  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *There is literally no expression Tony can wear that doesn’t make Bruce nervous, with the possible exception of asleep. And even then, it’s a bit of a toss up.


	21. Whelp, this is becoming a Kitchen Sink of Mythologies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rin POV

Given a score out of ten, I’d say I woke up to a seven. No one was actively trying to kill anyone else, and I was still (roughly) where I was when I fell asleep. But there were a few small things keeping it from a higher score, six to be exact. After all, waking up and seeing five new people/creatures and not knowing if they were friendly is a bit of a issue.

 

On the plus side, the weird skinny thing to the left had its back to me, and didn’t seem to have any kind of spiked rear appendage(s), just a stubby tail and antlers, wait, nevermind. Those were some seriously gnarly heel-spurs. Still, it _probably_ wasn’t looking to turn me into lunch.

 

It turned its head to look at me. Grey scales plated the underside of the neck and wow, I wasn’t aware it had that much neck. But hey, learn something new every day.

 

And now I had a good look at the thing from the side, I just gotta say, wow, what a rack. Those were some nice antlers. The thing had a head like a musk deer, if musk deer had no skin, shark’s teeth intermittently sprinkled about their jaws, and a sprawling set of antlers sweeping down from their skull.

 

It turned towards me fully, and huh. That’s all I really have to say, just: huh. It was furry, brown, and had incredibly lanky arms. They reached to the ground even as it half-rose to its clawed feet. Or were they paws? I couldn’t tell. The upper limbs ended much the same way, in neither hands nor paws but something in between. Most of torso was incredibly humanoid, and would’ve been indistinguishable from any other lady had it not been the lower torso. And, you know, everything else. Like the long, digitigrade legs.

 

I would have considered it just another weird creature if it hadn’t been for one specific thing: it was dressed pretty nice. I mean, it was obviously modified, but the outfit was actually good. Business casual, a set of beige khakis, a silky maize scarf,  and red polo shirt tied at the bottom. The creature didn’t seem to have anything in the way of a lower torso, if the vivid outlines of ribs and severe caving in at the stomach were to be believed. Not to mention it looked like the polo was tied directly around the _spine_ at the bottom.

 

“Oh, looks like Mord sent a present,” the creature purred, sauntering forward on all fours in an odd, uneven gait, and snatching the box from under my seat.

 

“Hey!” I snapped, “That’s for Abigail!”

 

I’m not entirely sure how, but the creature managed to smirk without lips.

 

“Oh dearie,” said the creature, reaching down to a small cylinder hanging at it’s side. I hadn’t noticed it before, being too focused on the- holy $#!& that thing has two eyeballs per socket! There’s a new one.

 

The creature slit open the box with a claw longer than my hand and lifted the parcel within. Okay, now I’m confused… again. I was looking at a cylinder just like the one at Abigail’s hip.

 

“I _am_ Abigail.”

(Abigail and Mordechai)

 

A translucent tube snaked up from the side of the canister, running from its bottom up Abigail’s side, over her shoulder and ending next to her chin. She switched the cylinders, and the moment the new one was in, began sipping on the end of the tube. A burst of sanguine liquid flowed up in, and Abigail’s eyes shut in delight.

 

“Made with love,” she sighed then threw me a smug look. I still don’t know how that’s possible with only a skull, but I’m going to stop questioning it, “we can actually taste that you know.”

 

I took a page out of Kuro’s book with my response, “No, I really don’t know. What do you mean ‘we’ve been expecting you’? Who is we? Don’t answer that, I see you have horse-backup. What are you?”

 

“Oh. My apologies, I forgot to introduce myself. I’m Abigail, and these fine folks,” she gestured to the horsemen outside, “are Felix, Mela, Izak, and Gerek.”

 

“That’s nice,” Tony chimed up, suit folding back into his… watch? Not gonna question it, “still doesn’t answer the question though.”

 

“I’m the current head of security, and they are some hired help. Does that answer your question?”

 

“Sort of. Head of security for what? And again, what are you? And how did you get behind us so quickly?” Tony asked. Guess he was taking over the asking questions job, not that I minded.

 

“In order, walk with me. I’ll show you.” She took another sip, then loped off the jet’s lowered ramp, calling over her shoulder, “I’ll tell you on the way.”

 

Kuro, of course, figured it best not to let me walk on my own again. At least this time he let me _ride_ him though, rather than scruffing like before.

 

We landed only a few hundred yards from the construction site, so the run wasn’t long. However, that time wasn’t spent in silence.   


“Before we get to the housing area, would you please tell your people to leave us to work in peace?” Abigail turned her gaze to Thor, “I understand they’re trying to help, but none of them are certified, know the safety procedures, or are even citizens of this &(*!ing planet yet*!”

 

“Didn’t you put up a fence?” Yelled Tony from the other side where he and the other full-humans found themselves riding backsaddle with the horsemen.

 

She sighed, giving a nice view of jagged teeth lining her entire mouth all the way back to the throat, “Yes, we put in a fence. And an electric fence. And guard dogs. And a moat. And a sniper tower**. Heck, I even called in a favor from a sphinx my family knows!” She almost snapped, before lowering a few octaves and semi-muttering, “Do you have any idea how good children are at semantic puzzles?***”

 

Clint’s deadpan answer of “Yes” was something I would have mulled over longer, had we not been almost at the site. I could make out the large figures at one side of the construction. One was a sphinx, the other a massive snake.

 

We were soon close enough to hear the racket of the construction site, then make out what the two figures were saying. They were in the middle of what I could only describe as a _riddle_ -battle. Ya know those rap battles ya sometimes hear about? Yeah, it was kind of like that, but with riddles.

 

“Oy! Brother, get over here!”

 

I jumped at the sudden bellow from next to me, a few dozen feet away the snake’s head whipped around. Its tongue flickered once, and it approached us. A shiver ran down my spine, ending in an uncomfortable tail spasm. It wasn’t the same overwhelming fear I’d felt when first meeting Thor, but I _knew_ this wasn’t someone/thing to be messed with lightly.

“...brother?” breathed a voice beside me.

 

“Oh, please don’t tell me…” another said, exasperation coating her words.

 

I was too fixated on the sidewalk sized serpent to pinpoint who spoke. As it came closer it’s color became clear: forest green, patterned with duller, darker green freckles.

 

*Smack*

 

Or pinpoint who facepalmed. I’m pretty sure it wasn’t the snake. That thing’s boxy snout didn’t seem suited to the activity. Nevermind the lack of palms.

 

“Do not worry-” Thor assured.

 

“I’m worrying.” Someone replied.

 

“I’m that, and a lot of other things.” Another chimed in.

 

I didn’t say anything, too focused on tamping down on my unease. Instincts are good for alerting ya of danger, but once ya’ve acknowledged them there are times it would be nice to have some kind of off button. Okay, sure people technically _do_ have one, but I mean one not involving being knocked out.

 

I could _feel_ Thor rolling his eyes beside me, but the deity left it that. Instead, he addressed the giant snake.

 

“Stop harassing the poor woman and shift to your true form. You are making these _gentleman,_ ” he gestured to Kuro and I. Admittedly, I hadn’t taken my eyes off the snake since we showed up. Or, rather, I hadn’t until Kuro’s hackles got in the way. Yeah, we weren’t exactly comfortable.

 

The speckled titan curled in on itself, wrapping tightly before growing smaller, smaller, furrier, and smaller, until a large furry house cat sat where the snake once lay.

 

Thor sighed, and while the unease hadn’t faded -if anything it had gotten stronger- I was no longer staring down the snout of something who could swallow me whole. This lack of imminent nomming left me feeling safe enough to glance at my employer and company. I wasn’t sure what I was expecting, but their combat-ready stances -excluding the doctor, They who Shred, and Thor- weren’t it. The latter was preoccupied turning his face to the sky and, yep, I recognise _that_ look. The “give me strength” look.

 

Something scuttled at the corner of my vision, but before I could focus on it Thor spoke up, turning to the cat with a sigh.

 

“Well, I am unable to argue with that.”

 

I was already aware a cat could make a fake-affronted face, and this one was an excellent example of one. I think. It’s hard to tell with a sample size of two.

 

The uneasy feeling still had me on edge, and bells were starting to ring in the back of my head. Almost like… had I experienced something like this before?

 

No one moved from their positions. The cat looked around and sniggered, shifting again.

 

Soon I was looking at a lithe, black haired man dressed entirely in green. The feeling grew even stronger, and I finally managed to figure out what the feeling reminded me of: Mephisto.

 

This was a trickster.

 

But -my gaze flitted to Thor- there was something different about this one. I sniggered as the thunder g-d tackled his brother and wrestled him into a headlock. We have someone who _knows_ how to deal with this trickster.

 

“Ack! Get off you over enthusiastic puppy of an aesir!” The trickster protested, squirming in a partially successful attempt to dislodge himself from a headlock.

 

No one but the squirming man moved for a few moments, before Clint spoke up.

 

“I’m hesitant to ask, but: what’s happened since we last met?” Trepidation soaked every word.

 

The deity gave a puzzled look to the the group, minus the trickster trying to wiggle out from a solid headlock, “Did Bruce not explain things?”

 

“Yes, but honestly I didn’t believe a fifth of it.” Someone -Tony I think- remarked. Everyone -trickster included- turned to look at him for a second.

 

Only for a second though, because at that point the trickster shapeshifted into some kind of long fish/eel thing, and slipped his brother’s grasp. It looked like fun, and I was tempted to jump in, but something -be it instincts opposed to getting in any kind of fight with a deity, a still healing arm, or a protective friend the size of an eighteen wheeler- held me back.

 

“Hey! Hagfish are cheating!” Griped the g-d. He shook his arms in a futile attempt to rid them of the slime now coating them.

 

“Your point?” The trickster snarked, shifting back to a man just in time to be cuffed in the back of the head by Abigail.

 

“Now children, how about we go in and get people some dinner. I don’t know about you, but _I’m_ hungry.” She burst into a fit of giggles at some inside joke and gestured for us to follow.

 

The trip to the living quarters was short, and filled with friendly banter between the two deities.

 

“What did I tell you about hiring these kind of folk?” Asked the thunder g-d.

 

“Let someone know.” Drawled the trickster, “And I did!”

 

“Who?” The thunder g-d asked, tone of one knowing they were in for a smart alec answer.

 

“Myself.” The trickster smirked.

 

“We’ve been over this time and time again. You do not count as someone when you are the one telling someone.”

 

“What about-” The trickster protested

 

“Illusions do not count either.”

 

“You’re no fun.” The trickster said, “Anyways, we’re here.”

 

We were definitely somewhere. To the right were large tanks of water, and in front of us was a massive camper. Behind it was a sea of other, smaller, campers of various models and colors, and what looked like laundry lines hanging sporadically between vehicles. People wandered in the pathways between the trucks. Chatter and -oddly enough- disembodied flying hands filled the air.

 

One landed on my arm. I barely managed to catch myself before I swatted it like a bug. It scuttled up to my shoulder, and upon closer inspection I could see not only was it not attached to anything, it was completely covered in bandages, safety pins, and bits of cloth attached via those pins. It launched itself like a jumping spider and soon was lost in the maze of campers and laundry.

 

The -hopefully- benign weirdness left me more at ease. It wasn’t my home, but the positive air about this place got rid of the last clinging bits of earlier tension.

 

I didn’t have long to soak it in as we swiftly ducked into the big camper. They that Crushes elected to remain outside, while everyone else entered.

 

Everyone took a seat -or a perch on the back of a chair in TwS’ case- around a fold-out table. And more tension. What had happened between the trickster and the human crew? I mean, I’m not blaming _anyone_ for being wary of a trickster g-d, but the amount here? It seemed a _bit_ excessive.

 

I tried to distract myself and focused on the camper’s interior. It wasn’t too shabby, with red-brown walls and enough windows for the place to be lit entirely by natural light. What drew my attention though, were the bizarre, foot long, padded structures bolted to the walls just below cat flaps. For a moment I wondered what they could be. Only for that moment though, as another of those hands jumped through the flap and settled down on the armrest for the hand equivalent of a nap****.

 

Abigail took another route in dealing with the animosity and carefully ignored it entirely, clearing her throat and getting down to business, “Now, let’s get started. Is this a neighborly visit, or do you need something?”

 

“While I would absolutely love it if this were just a friendly visit, we do have an ulterior motive as well.” Thor said, “We need to speak with Heimdall.”

 

Abigail blinked. “I see.”

 

“Well then,” the trickster clasped his hands, “let’s get going then -ack!”

 

“Not so fast,” Clint warned, hand on the trickster’s collar, “First, I believe we need to go over a. what exactly happened since we last saw each other, and b. what are exactly are you?” The latter question was aimed at Abigail.

 

“The first one’s easy to answer.” Thor grumbled, “Doctor Banner already told you.”

 

“Okay, fine. I meant any details you left out, but let’s go with that for now.” The scary redhead snapped, “and the second question?”

 

“Oh, I’m sorry, I totally forgot, didn’t I? I always get so caught up in the moment… anyway, I’m a wendigo. These little guys,” she snapped her fingers twice and a hand landed on the table, “are oniate. They’re a big help with keeping everyone on the same page. And on that note…”

 

She unpinned one of the bits of cloth attached to the oniate, grabbed a pen from her shirt pocket, and wrote something. She pinned it back on the hand, directed it to “Heimdall”, and the nightmarish carrier pigeon was off.

 

“They’re so dang cute.” She said, eyes lit with not only their normal sulfurous glow, but joy comparable to one who just played with a beloved pet. It was short lived, as someone -see: Tony- coughed and reminded her of the other people she had yet to explain.

 

“Oh, right… who?... oh! Yes, right, the other help are dullahan.”

 

Clint -someone who managed to maintain quite a respectable “wait, what did you just say?” look since the “I’m a wendigo” line, finally managed to get enough oxygen to speak up.

 

“I’m sorry, did you just say ‘wendigo’? As in: ever hungry, cannibalistic spirits? That kind of wendigo?”

 

Abigail’s shoulders slumped and she rolled her eyes, “Yes. That kind of wendigo. And yes, I am good to work.” She patted her canister and took another sip.

 

All was quiet for a moment. Clint shot up, visibly shook.

 

“I’m sorry, I need a minute.” he said and walked out.

 

Abigail frowned. “I better go with him. It’s a real labyrinth out there.” And like Clint, she left before anyone could protest.

 

It only took a record 0.3 seconds after she left for it to get impressively awkward. The full humans were giving the trickster these _looks,_ and I wanted no part of it.

 

“Ya know what, I just realized I need to go… uh… use the restroom. Bye!”

 

And without bothering to get a reply, Kuro and I rushed out the door.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Yes, yet. The vetting process is a #@^!@^&*$#!.
> 
> **The dude wasn’t using lethal rounds of course
> 
> ***Look on the bright side Alice: now you’ve got blackmail of your friend being outwitted by children
> 
> ****Please insert hand falling asleep joke here


	22. More Scruff Happens

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Clint POV

A soft padding behind me let me know I had company.

 

“You know, these little guys are insanely prone to disease.”

 

“Is that right?” I responded, brain on autopilot. I really shouldn’t be this shaken by another mythological entity being real, but here we are.

 

“Yes, they can transmit some truly nasty things.” The wendigo continued.

 

My only reply was a soft, “Hmm.”

 

My unease probably stemmed from this being the first time we were encountering a creature known not only to be a man-eater, but almost solely  _ for _ its human diet.

 

“It’s ludicrous the amount of vaccines these things need, but it’s worth it.”

 

“M-hmm” my reply was hard, tense.

 

Abigail sighed.

 

“Look, I’m not going to tell you I’d never hurt a human. My job is in security for goodness sake, I can’t make that promise. But,” She crouched down, staring directly into my eyes, “I would never hurt Mord, and he’d never hurt me.”

 

She trailed off, eyes clouding with  _ something. _ I wasn’t entirely sure what I was expecting, but what she said next certainly wasn’t it, “My father, on the other hand… let’s just say he wasn’t too pleased when he found out. And…” Abigail trailed off, burying her face in her claws. She sniffed. The intelligence agency part of me wondered if she actually has sinuses, but it was grossly overshadowed by the other part, the father part. The father part and self-preservation part clashed for a moment, the former winning out.

 

I reached over and put a hand on her shoulder. She froze at the contact, but eventually she turned to meet my gaze.

 

“Sorry, I know it’s been  _ years, _ but… I just- I just wish I could have done  _ something.”  _ She sniffed again and gave a strained grin, “Sorry about that. I always get so emotional.”

 

“It’s okay.”

 

She sniffed again, calming down a little and taking a sip from her tube. The drink took a visible edge off.

 

“It’s perfectly natural to be upset about these things, even years later. You know that, right?”

 

She nodded. “Yeah, I know. I’ve gone through this song and dance with a therapist before.”

 

I lamented for a moment on the irony of it being  _ me _ comforting her now, seeing how it was I who was initially so hesitant to trust her. After all, she just outed herself as a species known for their unending hunger for human flesh.

 

I sighed. I really didn’t want to get caught up in this drama, and yet…

 

“Look, it sounds like there’s a story here. Why don’t you tell me about it. I know a thing or two about balancing a terrifying second life with family.”

 

She sniffed a bit (again, does she even have sinuses?) and began spilling her guts. Thankfully not literally.

 

Wendigo were known for their unending, practically insatiable hunger for human flesh. This was not something that could be stopped, with the exception of brief periods when feeding or the wendigoes death.

 

However, Abigail and Mordechai managed to find a workaround. While Abigail’s hunger was unending, if she could feed often enough she could keep herself from a perpetual feeding frenzy state. They had the what down, but now she needed a way to feed almost constantly. 

 

“Now the average adult body can be stretched for about a week if you only take a small mouthful each time. Unfortunately, a body will only be edible for a few hours unless it’s refrigerated or frozen. Mord was coming over to make a romantic dinner, and while I remembered to take the body out of the fridge, I’d entirely forgotten about the one in the freezer. Mord was, understandably, put off.” She trailed off and glanced to the side. I had the feeling “put off” was an extreme understatement. She returned to the story after a moment.

 

“Anyhow, I didn’t want to eat him, but I couldn’t just let him  _ leave. _ I don’t exactly remember how or why, but soon I was spilling my life’s story to a guy I’d only known five months. He was pragmatic about it, and told me he’d try to find a way to make it work, to find a replacement diet, on the condition I didn’t stock any more bodies. I must’ve stared at him for a straight minute when he began talking about a substitute.”

 

She sighed, the joyous memory flashing in her features. 

 

“I didn’t have much hope for it. Many before him had tried, but none had ever come anywhere close.But two weeks later what does he do? He comes in with a pitcher filled with some odd, thick liquid. It didn’t and still doesn’t hold a candle to the flavor of meat, but I’ll be forever grateful for it. We grew quite a bit closer after that.”

 

I nodded, finally able to relax, “Makes sense, it’s kind of hard to relax and appreciate someone when there’s a timer involved.”

 

She nodded and teld out an arm for one of those hands. It bounced to existence on her open palm. She unpinned a rather large note and began reading. 

 

I took the opportunity to try and process what she relayed so far. I tried for all of about 0.4 seconds before my head started hurting, so I moved on to really take in my surroundings for the first time. The living compound wasn’t exactly  _ nice, _ but I wasn’t going to say anything. It was probably the best they could do on such short notice. And it wasn’t  _ awful _ either.

 

We stood by the edge of maze of what were essentially campers. A good portion were in neat rows, but enough stuck out at odd angles that if you didn’t have a specific destination in mind, it was easy to get lost.

 

Children rushed past us in the throws of an odd game combining duck-duck-goose with hide and seek. They were all much cleaner than one might expect for not only being children, but also in a place with no running water. It was probably due to the fact Iceland had more hotsprings than McD’s.

 

A long claw tapped me on the shoulder. Abigail was done with her interlude and my attention was once again requested.

 

“He later told me he had to call in not only all his sick days, but a favor from the mob to threaten a guy for info to complete the recipe.”

 

She sniggered a moment, patting the canister at her hip.

 

“The formula was actually his engagement gift. It’s pretty cheap to make, but priceless to anyone with a specialized diet.”

 

Another snigger.

 

“That’s actually why I started keeping the oniate; to spread the word.”

 

“Hmm. I see.” That’s all I really could say. It was a bit to take in.

 

We kept meandering, no particular destination in mind. We wound up stumbling on the kid and a dullahan.

 

The kid was petting the horse. He didn’t even come up to its shoulder. The rider stood next to it, leaning against a camper. The kid’s “cat” wound about their feet. We walked into the middle of their conversation.

 

“There’s one other thing you may wish to be aware of, we’re really one being.” The rider said.

 

The kid’s head whipped to the man without one.

 

“It is true. I may see from of her eyes, I hear the sounds she hears, I feel her sensations. It works the other way around as well. And on that note, would you please scratch a little lower and to the right?”

 

The kid obliged and both parts of Felix (I’m nearly certain it was Felix) stumbled, almost falling over in ecstasy.

 

“And why couldn’t ya do that yerself?” Rin asked, amusement tinting his tone.

 

“Which feels better: scratching your own itch, or getting someone else to do it?”

 

The tailed teen paused a moment, thinking about something. He gave a small nod of agreement.

 

The innocent exchange tugged a small smile to my face. Whatever the kid was, he seemed like a good one.

 

Any further thoughts on the matter were interrupted when something rocketed past me. It barreled into Rin’s “cat”.

 

The creatures wrestled for a moment before breaking apart. The newcomer launched itself at Rin’s friend, and proceed to knock into a leg like a tree trunk. The creature sat, dazed a moment before righting itself, just in time to be scruffed by the massive feline. With the creature finally limp and still, I could make out what exactly I was looking at.

 

It almost looked like some kind of cat, or, rather, it looked more like a cat than anything else. The face was half masked in green scales, and it had little horns nubs like a baby deer. Tiny spikes ran the length of its spine.

 

The size of a juvenile panther, it blinked sleepily, without care. The much larger feline(ish) creature went cross-eyed attempting to stare at it. A futile effort, and Kuro wound up pinning the scaley “cat” under a massive paw for better inspection.

 

“Oh! Hello there little guy.” Abigail cooed, “I was wondering where you ran off to.

 

The big cat and kid wound up sharing a glance, and the Kuro lowered his head slightly to let Abigail retrieve the cub. To anyone else, the cub would have been too much cat to hold onto, but Abigail was more than twice my height. She managed the squirming cat fine.

 

Kuro huffed and yawned, returning to house-cat size and returning to perch on the kid’s head.

 

With the giant cat out of the picture -for now at least- the squirming creature in Abigail’s arms had my full attention.

 

The wendigo twiddled her fingers in front of the kitten’s half-scaled face. She giggled when it latched onto them with a mouth full of needles.

 

“You’re still teething, aren’t you? Aren’t you?” she purred in that baby-voice people often use when talking to pets.

 

“I have a question,” The kid cut in, “is that an underwater panther, or…”

 

“It is indeed!” Abigail chirped, “how did you-oh!”

 

The underwater panther wriggled out of her grasp and launched itself at the kid’s head. The kid ducked. The underwater panther crashed to the ground behind them. Kuro launched from the kid’s head. The ground shook at his landing. He snarled down at the cub. The cub took no notice. It leapt for the giant cat. Kuro’s teeth snapped the air just behind it. The panther crashed into his head. It scrambled to his tail and latched his teeth near the base.

 

His roar rattled the windows around us, followed by a bone-jarring thud.

 

The kid rushed past me before the dust had even settled. When the air finally cleared. I was met with the sight of the kid kneeling at Kuro’s tail, panther in his arms. The cub was still.

 

For a moment, the only sound was harsh breathing and the distant exclamations of children.

 

Rin struggled to his feet, both arms occupied with underwater panther.

 

“What are you dooo...” I trailed off. It was pretty obvious what he was doing, and besides, he wouldn’t have been able to give me an answer anyways.

 

His mouth was full of panther scruff.

 

Abigail rushed forward, taking the cub into her arms again. It squirmed a little, but seemed to have finally worn itself out.

 

I fully expected the kid to begin spitting out hairs. Instead, he was inspecting his tongue with one hand, carefully avoiding abnormally long canines.

 

“U-uo?” He turned to the collapsed cat, hand still in his mouth. The moment he caught sight of his friend still on the ground he rushed over.

 

I threw a quick glance to Abigail, and approached the kid kneeling by his friend’s head. I caught the tail end of muttering as I got closer, but it quickly cut off. The kid’s ear twitched. A mental note was made of that. Years of training left me stepping lightly by reflex. For this kid to have heard me approaching was… abnormal.

 

He threw a quick glance at me. We locked eyes for a moment, but he soon returned to his friend. The whispering resumed, too quiet for me to hear even at short range. I started for a moment when the cat shrunk down. Rin stood, turning to me with Kuro in his arms.

 

He leveled me a stern look, “We’re heading back.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quick note: There was a minor issue with the last chapter where I accidentally left some outline notes in the middle. This has been fixed.


	23. This one has a Rubik's Cube

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rin POV

_ He’s going to be okay. _

 

_ He’s going to be okay. _

 

_ He’s going to be okay. _

 

_ He’s… _

 

The mantra tumbled through my mind, jumbling and jamming with other, less helpful thoughts. No one thing or another broke the panicked haze flooding my head. I clutched Kuro closer, drinking in his familiar scent. His chest rose and fell next to mine. I took in a deep breath.

 

In the corner of my mind a not-burning sensation registered. Out of the corner of my eye blue sparks flickered.

 

I kept running, my only true friend in this world close to my heart.

 

Campers blurred. Direction was lost in the mess of my mind. Somehow I managed to get back to the main group. I was too mentally flooded with  _ things, _ I didn’t register the instinctual unease of a new g-dly being as I entered the camper.

 

“Hello again!” The trickster chirped. Literally. It had turned into a large green parrot* and was nesting in its brothers’ hair.

 

A one-eyed man glowered at the bird from across the table. He paused the glare, leveling his golden gaze at me. I shuddered. I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again: humanoids should  _ not _ have rectangular pupils. Something folded over in my chest. My nails tingled. My tail went stiff and I  _ burned. _ I was  _ not _ dealing with that right now. I tucked my head down and backed out of the camper.

 

“Where are you going?” Called Tony.

 

I stumble over my own tongue, half starting words before others cut them off, finally landing on, “Not here!”

 

“Why?”

 

“Staring!” Was the only thing I could manage. Even outside, my skin crawled under his wall-piercing scrutiny.

 

“Huh?”

 

“Just- just- just- just-.” I swallowed, “Get him to stop staring at me!”

 

Seconds ticked by and I grew more jittery under the weight of his scrutiny. I paced, swallowing nervously. This was doing nothing. I turned my attention to inspect Kuro. It didn’t look like the cub had done any permanent damage, nothing  _ felt _ out of place. Thank the lord. And thank Yukio whatever small amount of medical knowledge rubbed off on me… Yukio…

 

Kuro groaned before I had the chance to dwell too long on whatever that train of thought would have been. I needed to take action then and there.

 

Hmm… think. What helped with tail pains? Medication? No, I don’t have anything with me. Alcohol? Maybe… but I don’t have any catnip wine on me.

 

A low hiss registered from my friend.

 

I winced. Not good. Very not good. What could I-!

 

A thought struck me.

 

I gritted my teeth. There was no way around this. I’d just have to face the stare.

 

“Okay, he’s stopped staring!” Tony called. I jumped, the sudden sound yanking me from my thoughts.

 

Apparently I wouldn’t have to face the stare.

 

I rushed back to the camper. The parrot was messing with a rubix cube. Said rubix cube was occupying the attention and hands of the goat-eyed man. 

 

“Do either of you still have that leaf-drug-thing?” I said. Rubix cube or no, I needed that leaf.

 

Thor’s eyes narrowed, inspecting me for  _ something. _ The trickster, on the other… wing had no such hesitation. The parrot hopped over to its brother, snatching the glowy thing from Thor’s pocket.

 

The bird galumphed over to me, climbing my pant leg and nesteling in my arms on top of Kuro. Mental faculties jammed. Uh… trickster. In my arms? What? The hypnotic properties of the leaf weren’t exactly helpful either.

 

In my arms, Kuro relaxed. My mind started working again. I thanked the trickster. You always thank people when they’ve helped you. You just do**. It doesn’t matter who or what they are. You thank them.

 

I curled around them, fur and feathers, comfort familiar and foreign clouding my senses. In that moment, things weren’t great, but they were okay.

 

It couldn’t last.

 

The prickle of many eyes was something I was -unfortunately- used to. I curled tighter around Kuro and the bird in the few seconds of uncomfortable silence before the Archer spoke up.

 

“Now that’s settled, where do we go from here?”

 

The one eyed man opened his mouth to speak and was promptly cut off by the trickster who had climbed to my shoulder.

 

“And remember the rules!” The trickster chirped.

 

The goat-eyed man leveled the bird one last glare before turning his attention to the rest of the group.

 

“Find the place where minds mend,

 

Where cloth conceals claws.

 

The white wolf waits in the cat’s cradle.”

 

...and that was a prophecy. That would be a Nope***.

 

“Okay, one more time, but more cryptic.” Said Tony.

 

Heimdal leveled him the best unimpressed stare I’d seen since Yukio… I really need to stop thinking about him. Those emotions aren’t helpful, damnit!

 

“I do not make the rules.” he said.

 

Natasha chimed in, “We’ve heard a bit about these ‘rules.’ What do they entail and who exactly makes them?”

 

Heimdall sighed and Loki had the third most distasteful look I’d ever seen on a bird. Thor channeled his inner teenager and buried his face in his hands, elbows on the table.

 

“The rules predate almost every race. Essentially, they make things hard for everyone. No race may freely give correct information to Midgardians.” The goat-eyed man said. He was throwing off some serious “for the love of all that is holy, don’t ask me anymore” vibes.

 

Loki, of course, was happy to pester him more.

 

“Oh, come on mister goat head-”

 

The face of every human in the room fell in shock, confusion, and “wtf?”

 

Thor muttered, “This coming from mister goat-”

 

“Oi! We agreed to never speak of that again!” Loki snapped, feathers raising, “Besides,” his feathers fell again, “I saved your collective rears, didn’t I? Plus, she had a pretty laugh.”

 

“Can we please get back on topic?” asked Clint, desperation of a man thoroughly lost clear in his tone.

 

“The point is, we can’t exactly argue with  _ his _ rules.”

 

This was getting ridiculous.

 

“W _ ho’s _ rules?!” I snapped. Kuro nuzzled in my arms, ending any kind of anger before it could get a toe-hold on my mood.

 

“Ymir.”

 

Everyone turned to Thor, silently pleading for more information.

 

“He is,  _ was, _ the first being. We do not know how or why he made the rules, but we follow them. 

They prevent us from giving information freely to certain races.”

 

“... So ya use riddles as a loophole, right?” I said.

 

All eyes turned to me again, this time Kuro’s included.

 

“What? Sometimes I think smart things.”

 

In my arms, Kuro blinked long and slow. His tail flicked under my nose.

 

_ “I dunno if it be the plant talking-a-ring, but I love you man. Talking-ing about loopholes like a real demon.” _

 

I almost buckled under new weight****. The trickster had turned back into a man and was nose to nose with me.

 

He was still curled around my shoulders.

 

Just as I was about to throw him off, he changed into a snake and stared at his brother. Don’t ask me how I know what consideration looks like on a snake, but I do and I recognised it there.

 

Thor sighed and addressed his brother’s silent question. “Yes, I know. Yes, we will discuss this later. Yes, it is unorthodox. No, we’re really not ones to talk. No, you can’t stab him. No, they don’t know. And it’s up to him to explain everything.”

 

“...Now whatever  _ that _ was is settled, does anyone know where we’re supposed to be going next?” Natasha asked.

 

“Yes.” Said Heimdall, “One among you already knows of its location.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Look up kakapo. These are definitely creatures Loki made. Just look them up. You will not be dissapointed.
> 
> **Not doing so is a good way to make supernatural enemies, and you don’t do that when you can avoid it. 
> 
> ***While Rin hasn’t exactly had bad personal experiences with prophecies, this was covered in the exorcist curriculum. Prophecies tend to be Not Good for any involved. 
> 
> ****Loki’s weight shifts as he does. If it didn’t then doing something like shifting into a bird wouldn’t exactly be useful would it? Also, this:  
>   
> Rin is pretty freaking strong.


	24. In which Steve doesn't Understand the Protocol after a Car Accident

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cap POV

How did he  _ know? _ Also,  _ why? _

 

Someone -albeit an all seeing alien- knowing what happened that day threw me off balance. I managed to recollect myself after a moment of panic, but a moment was all the time Loki-snake needed to get in my face. Reflexes kicked in. As it turns out, snakes are hard to grab unless you get them right behind the head.

 

Cold coils slipped my grip and once again I was nose to nose with someone who thought  _ New York _ would be the best place to stage his world takeover attempt*. Seriously, who does that? New Yorkers have always been irritable. Most tourists had taken shelter, but I’d read more than my share of reports after the battle.

 

I hadn’t been aware it was possible to garrote someone with a purse, but you learn something everyday.

 

Loki’s tongue flicked my nose, ending that little train of thought. The point was, the guy who doesn’t do his homework was studying me and I didn’t like it. I probably should have been more concerned about the guy who’s tried to kill me having fangs so close to my throat, but that would be a double standardsomewhat hypocritical. On the other hand, he  _ was  _ in my personal space… I flicked him in the nose. He recoiled, shooting me an indignant glare and slithering to the table.

 

Thor picked him up and draped the snake over his shoulders. Loki’s tongue flickered again and a rainbow shimmer rippled through his body turning scales to feathers.

 

“I know a guilty man when I smell one.” The snake said.

 

What?

 

Thor’s gaze flicked between me and his brother a few times. He raised an eyebrow.

 

“Alright, altright,” Loki corrected himself, “not guilty  _ per say. _ But you’re hiding something.”

 

I rolled my eyes. It was true, sure. But  _ he’s _ not exactly one to talk. 

 

“Look, just set the coordinates. I’ll explain on the way.” I said, brushing aside confused and concerned looks. We bustled to the plane, and Bruce went to relay the coordinates to whoever or whatever was flying the thing.

 

Now that’s settled… I paused. Was there something I was forgetting? Something I should be doing…

 

Yowling from the back snapped me out of any further contemplation.

 

Rin was sitting on the floor, grabbing futility at the cub latched on his ankle.

 

“Would somebody please take this guy?” He said, flopping to the floor with a defeated huff.

 

Abigail stalked her way over, bent down, and scooped up the cub.

 

“Oh, thank you.” Rin breathed. “How do you  _ live _ with that?”

 

“Copper chew toys.” She said.

 

“What?”

 

“Chew toys containing copper. They like copper.”

 

Rin nodded, “Good to know.”

 

The cub squirmed, nipping Abigail’s arms. She considered it for a moment before placing it on the ground.

 

“She likes you.” Said Abigail as the cub scampered to sit on Rin’s back.

 

“Ugh. Okay. Fine,” Rin groaned, “but someone needs to make a chew toy or  _ something _ for this guy because I’m  _ not _ being munched on this whole trip.”

 

Tony appeared behind me. “I have a few ideas.”

 

“Fine, whatever. I’m taking a seat.” Said Rin, peeling himself from the floor to limp to a seat.

 

We said our farewells to Abigail and set off.

 

It was only after we were a few hundred miles away that Loki-snake revealed himself from under Thor’s shirt. Because of course he stowed away. I shot the two deities a glare, and decided now was as good a time as any to let people in on what’s happening.

 

“First, I need all of you to swear you will tell no living, or dead, or undead soul, or soulless being, entity, spirit, or other of what you experience. Or what you hear.”

 

A look was passed around the cabin, but everyone agreed. Rin shot up and rushed to the cockpit. I was about to go after him when he came back, assuring me They Who Shred had given their oath as well. A consenting rumble echoed from the cargo hold. And that makes They that Crushes.

 

“Okay, good. I’m not messing around here. What you see and hear is top secret. If any of this gets out, it would be very…” I struggled for a proper word encompassing global economic destabilization, potential nuclear war, and Tony plus eight cups of coffee and minus three days of sleep. My brain, of course decided on, “... not good.”

 

Thor shot a glance at Loki. So did everyone else. Loki, on his part, did his absolute best to look like he’d never even consider sharing dangerous information.

 

An impressive effort with absolutely zero percent chance of success.

 

Rin coughed and made a “go on” gesture.

 

“Alright, I’m sure those two,” I nodded to the spies, “have already heard of the ‘Winter Soldier.’”

 

Clint leaned forward and Natasha raised an eyebrow.

 

“Continue.” She said.

 

“Well, I ran into these nice gentlemen and lady during a political meet-n-greet and we got into a conversation. They were rather interested in my shield and I in their country. I wound up walking them to their vehicle.”

 

 

* * *

 

The faint click of a gun was the only warning.

 

I dashed in front of the king just as the shots rang out. I breathed a small sigh of relief at the metallic tink. I’d made it. I glanced at the fresh hole the bullet left in the dirt and made the calculations. I’d only have one shot.

 

More bullets found their new homes in the dirt behind the embacy. Then a moment of silence. I launched my shield at the second-story roof of the building behind us, a trick shot thousands of hours in the making.

 

The clang of metal against metal wasn’t part of the plan. I could hardly believe my eyes.

 

He’d  _ caught _ it.

 

Not without cost. He hadn’t been expecting it, and stood far too close to the edge. Momentum is a harsh mistress.

 

So is gravity.

 

I ran to the prone man. I was on a hair trigger, ready to dodge at a moments notice. A two story fall would be enough to take the wind out of almost anyone, but… he’d  _ caught my shield. _

 

As I got closer I could make out a dark shirt and long grey pants. A mask shielded the lower half of his face. He’d managed to keep his grip on my shield with one hand, the other brought under his head. My shield shifted. I rushed him, grabbing the shield and the hand holding it before it could draw the gun at his hip.

 

Something slammed into my temple. Years on ingrained reflexes had me roll with it. Most of the blow was absorbed, but I hit the wall hard anyways. My ears rang but I still had my feet under me.

 

The man stood. Spiteful, familiar eyes glared at me above his mask. Clouded eyes. A flash of familiarity crossed my mind. Had I seen him before?

 

Perhaps. But the game’s changed and he wasn’t in any shape to tell me.

 

I knew mind control when I saw it.

 

This man was not in control of his body.

 

I shouted something to that effect, along with a plea for my new friends to run, and launched myself at the man.

 

He darted to the side. I twisted away. His elbow buried itself in my ribs. I used the momentum, wrapping my arm around his neck in a chokehold. He continued the spin, slamming us both into the asphalt. It knocked the wind out of me but I managed to keep hold.

 

I kicked us both off the ground. My other arm snaked around the thrashing man. Though by now it would be more apt to call it spasming.

 

Something registered. A smell, of all things. It wasn’t the only thing pointing to my conclusion, rather the last factor I needed for certain pieces to click. The realization hit me like a tank.

 

“Bucky?” I breathed. He shot me a look somewhere between confused and loathing.

 

He snarled -honest to g-d  _ snarled- _ and launched himself at me again.

 

I rolled under him, snapping back to my feet just before he landed. He jumped to his feet just as I managed to hook him under the arms.

 

It wasn’t often I strained to hold someone, but my old friend was  _ not _ giving up easily. He stomped my foot. Pain shot up my leg. I gritted my teeth. I’d be feeling  _ that _ tomorrow.

 

Black flashed in my peripheral.

 

He dropped. I barely managed to catch us both. His struggling only grew as I lowered him to the ground and pinned him. He probably would have gone in for a bite if his mask wasn’t covering his mouth. As it was, I barely managed to jerk my head back before his headbutt broke my nose.

 

Even on the ground, with a man on his back, and his arms restrained, my old friend writhed like a fish on a hook. I was about to blood choke him**, when a glowing blue blade embedded itself in the ground next to his face. He stilled.

 

The lot was near silent, the only noises harsh breathing from three combatants, a steady dripping, and the faint hum of the blade. My gaze traced its form. On one end, the glowing blue blade. On the other, a woman holding the spear shaft.

 

The same woman accompanying us.

 

I don’t know when she changed outfits, but her armor was nothing like I’d ever seen. Her eyes caught mine, their gaze fiercer than all but two I’d ever encountered. I couldn’t hold it more than a few seconds, my attention diverting to the dripping.

 

It was coming from the Bucky’s legs. They looked like a tiger had taken a swing at the back of them.

 

“Explain.” It wasn’t a request. T’Challa’s tone was one of authority. One which said “I have power, I know how to use it. You will do as I say.”

 

* * *

 

 

“After that it was a lot like bumping someone else’s car. We exchanged information, I agreed to assist them in future political endeavors to a degree, they told me they’d help Bucky, and we went our separate ways. My emotions registered about ten minutes later and I may or may not have destroyed a wall. And a table. And a few chairs. Anyways, the folks I ran into are rather private, but I’ve been sure to call at least once a month.

 

It’s been… interesting.”

 

I finished the tale, every human was looking at me with a “what in the absolute ^$*!?” look. Rin seemed to have discovered a level of confusion previously unknown to sapient species, while Thor was contemplative and Loki… I have no idea what that expression’s supposed to be. Is that pitty, or is he trying not to laugh? I’ve never been good at reading cat expressions, so Kuro and the cub were mysteries.

 

I let out a small huff, “No, we haven’t been able to out how he survived, or what happened to him. And as I said, I check in pretty frequently.”

 

“So, let me get this straight,” started Clint, “You’ve been hiding  _ not only _ your brainwashed friend who tried to kill you-”

 

“-And other people…” Cut in Tony clearly still in shock and confirming my suspicion of snark being a reflex for him.

 

“And other people,” said Clint, “but also an allegiance with a nation advanced enough to make  _ laser _ spears?”

 

“That’s not how lasers work.” Added Tony, shaking off his shock.

 

I heard Natasha mutter, “And what kind of car accidents do you usually get  _ into? _ ” I shrugged. I usually didn’t.

 

Clint carried on like the others never said a thing, “And that’s not even mentioning said friend is a legend with at  _ least _ few dozen assassinations under his belt.”

 

I nodded, “That’s exactly what I’m saying.”

 

“...Anything else we should know?”

 

Rin piped up, “Kuro’s going to go through a big shed in about a week.”

 

“I wasn’t asking you, but good to know.” Clint said, not even glancing to the teen and his cat.

 

After that we fell into an awkward silence for about a minute before Rin tapped Natasha on the shoulder and asked what just happened. I amused myself by watching Natacha explain the whole thing to Rin in Japanese. He mainly nodded along but at one point he gave her an incredulous side eye and said something***.

 

Tony bided his time tinkering in the corner, portable workshop draped over his lap and a substantial portion of Clint’s.

 

A yawn drew my attention. Bruce drooped to the side, his head resting on Natasha’s shoulder. On her part, Natasha hid her expressions well, but if you knew what to look for you could  _ just  _ make out a “of all the things they trained me for, this was not one of them” face.

 

All was relatively peaceful for the next few hours. The nagging sensation I was forgetting something returned full blast, but I couldn’t pin down  _ what. _ It was driving me nuts.

 

At one point Rin got up and started quite literally climbing the walls. I had to call him down before he punctured something important. The cub curled up in his lap, ensuring no further acrobatic attempts this trip.

 

Another ten minutes passed. Tony hadn’t looked up from his tinkering the entire time.

 

I checked the coordinates, puzzled. I set the plane to land where we were. No use heading forward if we’re not sure we’re even going the right way. We should have been there by-!

 

The cub’s head shot up.

 

A crack of energy flashed across the ship’s nose.

 

I nearly lost my footing as something yanked the bay doors open. I went cross eyed at the glowing spear an inch of my nose. I cursed myself, finally remembering what I’d forgotten to do.  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That thing: Call ahead.
> 
> For the lines: “Momentum is a harsh mistress. So is gravity.” I considered adding “how a man could have such a bad relationship with his wife he would have not one, but two mistresses was beyond me. It was also irrelevant. The point is, the man fell like a brick.” But this is supposed to be from Steve’s POV, and it honestly just doesn’t sound like him in this situation.
> 
> Interestingly enough, when I was watching clips of the winter soldier fighting I noticed an interesting quality with his style: He extends until he hits something. This along with his sweeping movements means that he leaves himself open to a style that uses its opponent's weight against them or harnesses their momentum. Or, if the opponent dodges the first attack and is still in range, he’s wide open.
> 
> Also, he usually uses guns first if he can. He actually had another spare in his pocket, but it was crushed just enough when he hit the ground to render it useless.
> 
> And momentum is a harsh mistress. Steve’s had to perfect his technique catching his shield or it’s wrench his arms out of their sockets (or at the very least knock him off his feet) every time.
> 
> As for the “That’s not how lasers work”comment, I feel it apt to point out: Stark’s an engineer. And a smart@$$ one at that. He’s going to correct people if they get tech stuff wrong. At this point, it’s not a conscious choice for him. It’s reflex.
> 
> *Really, the only place worse I could think of to stage an invasion are: Moscow, because duh. Boston, because no one would really notice. And Australia, because no one would even need to fight back. Have you seen what lives down there?!
> 
> **This is a form of choke where you constrict the blood flow to the brain by pinching the arteries in the side of the neck. This can lead to a quick knockout in around five seconds. I’m not making this up.
> 
> ***That something: “What do you mean he was part of a hydra? You can’t be ‘part’ of a hydra unless you’re a head!” Also, just a random note, but hydras are one of my all time favorite mythological creatures. In this fic they are also essentially big bearded dragons, i.e. a mix of cat and spiky potato. They have cute faces and love to cuddle and their poo smells terrible.


	25. He's a cat. That's a tree. What did you expect?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rin POV

In times like this, one must wonder: is there some kind of reward program for getting pointy things aimed at yer face? If so, the past few days would at  _ least _ get me to silver. As it was, I simply threw the half-dozen glowing spears pointed at my face a dirty look… and a snarl. Oops. Did not meant to do the second bit. I chewed my lip, embarrassed  _ and there we go. _ Now my lip’s bloody. Good going, me.

 

Shaking my head and trying not to do anything else stupid, I focused on how the other people were doing. My employer and Bruce sat on a rock with a few of the scary spear-wielding people. Natasha, Clint, They who Shred, and Steve were all speaking with another scary lady in a different outfit. The conversation looked fairly heated, and was most likely rather serious. But I couldn’t look at Steve negotiating with his arms full of wriggling panther cub and  _ not _ snigger.

 

Seeing nothing I could take part in I flopped to the ground. A smile crept onto my face at the lack of pain from my shoulder.  _ Finally. _ I closed my eyes, letting the sun’s pleasant warmth wash over me.

 

I opened my mouth and took a deep breath, scents of trees and grass and people and fresh air and  _ wrong _ washing over my tongue _. _ My eyes snapped open. Kuro bolted from his place on my chest. I shot after him. Underbrush crunched underfoot. I  _ felt _ a twig snap underfoot and saw claws poking through the toe box. I kicked off my shoes and took off again. Claws give better traction anyways, but _ damn _ that’s my fifth pair this year. Trees flew past me. I just caught up with Kuro when he dashed in another direction too quickly for me to follow. I stopped, sniffing the air again.  Kuro and  _ wrong, _ off to the left. I bounded to my friend. Blood roared in my ears.

 

I squinted at the blinding light as I burst into a clearing, but I’d made it. Kuro stood at the other edge of the clearing, back arched and  _ something _ pinned under his paw.

 

“Kuro?” I called, creeping to the other side of the clearing. Insects rose in clouds as my lashing tail disturbed their grassy resting spots.

 

_ “Don’t get too close.” _ He snarled, fixated on the thing in his claws. What constituted “too close” I wasn’t sure, but I wanted to at least  _ see _ what we were up against. What smelled of  _ wrong. _ A few more steps and I could finally make out the shape. It was the biggest toad I’d ever seen*.

 

It had to be at least the size of a door, and wriggled like mad under Kuro’s claws. I almost gagged as the full force of its stench hit me like a wave. Plugging my nose with one hand, I asked Kuro I was seeing what I thought I was seeing.

 

_ “Indeed. It looks like the Rot King’s lieutenant has found her way over here too.” _

 

I may not have the attention span for most lessons, but the demon kings always had my attention whenever they were brought up. The King of Earth was nosey as $#*!, the King of Water was a sadistic #%&!er, and The King of Rot had a few really nasty assistants. Each specialized in a different aspect of his kingdom. One broke down flesh, another loved to sew suspicion in neighbors and friends. This one though, this one spread like mad. She constantly grew and released minions of her own to spread sickness. The longer she was out there…

 

We’d need to take her down, soon. No, not soon,  _ yesterday. _

 

“Kuro, are you ready?” I asked. The hairs on my arms stood on end from the numb burning and anticipation.

 

He loosened his grip ever so slightly,  _ “Ready” _

 

I gave a sharp nod and he leapt to the side. I let loose a torrent of flame. Something within me screeched for more, howled to keep burning until there was nothing left. The other parts of me, parts reinforced through bonds to  _ people _ pushed back the part vying for ash. I tucked my head to the side -pupils mere slits tailored see through the blaze- and saw only brittle bones. I cut off my flame and took a deep breath.

 

Small bits of ash fluttered into my nose. I huffed a sigh of relief, the toad’s stench was gone, and so was the toxin coating it. Kuro padded over to me. The plan had worked like a charm. I crouched down and wiped off his claws. We gently headbutted and I closed my eyes, relaxing a moment.

 

And then a man in a catsuit blindsided me.

 

I twisted, lashing and whipping to get a good angle. My teeth found  _ something _ and I crunched down  _ hard _ . I almost let go when a knee buried itself in my ribs. Strong hands slammed my shoulders to the ground.

 

I kicked, claws connecting with but ultimately sliding against something. They pinned my legs. A keening growl rose in my throat. The numb burning was back. Small flames danged from my shoulder.

 

And arm jammed against my throat. I let go, head slamming into the ground. The burning stopped for a moment.

 

My ears flattened to my head, I flashed my teeth at the attacker. The burning was back, my flames licking higher.

 

“Stand down.”

 

I didn’t know  _ who _ this guy thought he was, but-

 

“Okay dude, chill.” Said Tony.

 

And I  _ did  _ know who that guy thought he was. And who he actually was. I took a deep breath, flames flaring another moment before quieting. Kuro snarled and rushed the man. Before I could protest he had me by the neck and the world blurred once more.

 

Next thing I know I’m up in a tree next to an on edge cat-demon and a nest of very freaked out baby eagles. Deja-vu.

 

“So… what happened?”

 

_ “He attacked you, I took you to a safer location.” _

 

“First of all, thanks. Second, why is that location is twenty stories up in a tree?” I asked.

 

He turned his smart-car sized head to me, eyes large and owlish. He blinked once. Oh, right. Cat. I took another look at the ground over a hundred feet below us. It was at times like that when I was glad I didn’t have a fear of heights.

 

What to do now? I began to pace, claws scoring the dark bark. The canopy extended miles in every direction. I wouldn’t even know where to  _ begin _ to look, for  _ anything. _ And besides, should I be focusing on finding the mother toad or the people I came here with?

 

My stomach decided to remind me I hadn’t eaten for some time. Plans were never my strong suit, so I went with my gut. Time to wandering the forest until I come across something edible, mama toad, or the rest of the party it is then.

 

If I’d spotted the drone hiding in the canopy, I may have decided on a different course of action.


	26. Oh hi, you again!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Steve POV

“Whelp, that just happened.” Tony said. I didn’t bother throwing him a glare, too busy keeping the wriggling bundle of fur and scales in my arms from squirming free. Besides, four people had me covered there.

 

“What do you want me to say!?” Tony snapped, “The only guy I knew who could make a decent casserole just immolated a toad the size of a smart car, fought off the reigning king of a secretly super-advanced nation, and got carried off by a cat larger than most trucks!”

 

“Sir, would you like us to track him?” The guard asked T’challa, completely ignoring Tony’s little rant. I have enough experience with masks to know when someone’s making a face behind one, and the king definitely was.

 

“No.” He said, and turned back to his ship. “Come with me.”

 

“Okay, but isn’t anyone going to acknowledge what just happened?” Tony said, throwing his hands into the air.

 

“One of your people ran off, set fire to a toad, fought me, and fled with the aid of a giant cat. I am not afflicted with short-term memory loss. Now I must to return to Wakanda. There is work to be done.”

 

We took something I could only describe as a mix between a beetle and a helicopter to his main location. Of course, this meant we had to leave the plane where it was. They that Crushes was not exactly happy with that fact. They preferred to keep all six feet on the ground and only agreed to get on our plane in the first place via a _lot_ of convincing from They who Shred.

 

Eventually TtC decided they’d just walk the thirty miles to the compound. TwS would tag along and navigate. One of the guards offered the eldritch vulture a compass, but they declined.

 

“How will you find us? You can’t possibly keep up on foot.”

 

“We’ll just ask the committee which way to go.” Said Huggin.

 

“I’m sorry, wha-”

 

A small vulture landed on Clint’s head, cutting him off. Another -significantly larger- one landed on They who Shreds’ remaining wing.

 

“Oh.” Clint said.

 

We humanoids made for the beetle-copter. I shot the two aberrations one final look of “good luck.” They who Shred gave me a thumbs up, They that Crushes flashed a comforting smile*.

 

The flight only took a few minutes. Said minutes were filled by frantic pacing by at least two members of the party and the subsiquent distracting of said members with truly glorious views of the landscape.

 

When we landed T’Challa directed the guard to lead everyone to the meeting room. I moved to follow when a hand grabbed my shoulder. A soft tilt of the head was my only signal to follow, but one I took with vigor. T’Challa lead me out of the building, across two large fields, through town, and finally we reached a structure peeking out of the ground. It was fairly simple, a white cylinder set into the ground at an angle, double doors built into the flat side.

 

“Sir,” I licked my lips, throat drier than the Sahara. I braced myself for the worst, “how is he?” As much as I dreaded asking the question, I needed to know before going down there. I almost shook in the terror of the scant moments he before his answer.

 

T’Challa’s eyes softened just a touch. “He is… better. Not good, but _better._ ”

 

I let out a breath I didn’t know I was holding. Better, that was good, right? Right? It meant things _could_ improve. Right?

 

We passed a couple people in the halls. No one batted an eye at our presence, too busy on their way to one thing or another. It smelled clean, but not clinical. Almost like a greenhouse, minus the humidity. We went down one long hall, then another. A shorter one to the left, and to the right. Heavy doors blocked the path, thick wooden planks held together by strips of metal.

 

The king tapped the wall, revealing a panel and shelf. He retrieved a folder and handed it to me, “Before we enter, read this.”

 

The fire wasn’t pretty. He’d been almost unapproachable when he first arrived. As it stood, he had two main modes: fairly personable and intensely aggressive. It had taken a lot of work and a lucky break to even get him this far, and he still wasn’t sure where he was some of the time. He would jump at sudden movements, and certain phrases would make him freeze. I mentally filed said phrases under the “NEVER DON’T EVER NO” section of my brain. I returned the file and gave the king a nod.

 

T’Challa tapped a code into a wall panel, and the doors opened to reveal another -shorter- hall. Another set of doors stood at the end, these ones clear. The room behind them was beige. I almost missed the door closing and locking behind us in my rapidly growing anticipation. By the time we got to the end I was almost jumping at my own shadow. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes, faintly stale oxygen clearing my head. I turned to see my friend for the first time in months, and was greeted by a space roughly the size average living room. A door lead off to the left and another at the back. A couch sat at the back and navy blanket lay crumpled on a small table.

 

I didn’t see him at first. He was curled in the corner between the couch and the wall. His knees were folded against his chest, a book open on the floor in front of him. Emotions swept over me. I thought I’d steeled myself, but nothing could really prepare you for _that._

 

My oldest friend was staring, not _at_ me but _into_ me.

 

“Bucky?” My voice shook more than a mouse in the cold.

 

His head cocked ever so lightly, like a bird. Neither of us moved. A second passed. His nostrils flared and he sniffed. Another second. His head cocked forward, eyes flashing in consideration. Like he wasn’t sure what he was actually seeing. Another second.

 

A smile reminiscent of barred teeth broke his face, “Suicidal idiot.”

 

My face hurt from the smile I had on. “You’re back.” Pure unadulterated _joy_ coated those two syllables.

 

“Or it may mean he possesses functional eyes.” I stiffened at the snark of a passing employee.

 

Bucky tilted his head, “That too. Well, usually.” A cynical humor tinged his words.

 

Swallowing the lump in my throat turned out to be a futile endeavor, “What?”

 

“Apparently I have ‘auditory and visual hallucinations’ i.e. what I think I’m seeing and hearing aren’t what I’m seeing and hearing. Which raises a question,” He unfolded and padded towards the glass separating us. Suddenly I wasn’t in front of a man I once knew, rather an old tiger. His words were sharp claws, his gaze just as piercing, just as weary, “are you real?”

 

“He is.” The snarky employee -Dayo, if the small print on his nametag was to be believed- said.

 

The tiger sat back on its haunches. Bucky recoiled, eyes wide. Something between grin and grimace flashed over his teeth.

 

I bit my lip and prayed I wasn’t about to set off a bomb, “So… this is awkward.”

 

He stared at me for three solid seconds of utter confusion. A chuckle rose, deep and guttural. Then a snigger, and soon he was in stitches. I grinned, nervously looking to the Dayo and T’Challa. The king wore a small smile, while the employee’s grin mirrored mine, large and unsure.

 

“So, how’s your day been?”

 

Bucky took a seat, back against the right wall, “Pretty dull, yours?”

 

I sat down on the other side of the glass, “Wish I could say the same.”

 

We made small talk along that vein for a few minutes. The urge to ask bigger questions was hard to resist. It was a pleasant few minutes, if you discount the typhoon on emotions storming in my gut. So of course something went wrong.

 

Something Snapped. His face hardened. He lunged. His hand clawed the glass only a few inches from my throat. He snapped back. His remaining wrist snapped to one of the fist-sized bronze spots in the middle of each wall. My friend thrashed, prey in the claws of an invisible predator. I was on my feet. Three staff members bustled past us, entering the room through a practically invisible door.

 

I had to help. What I was planning on _doing_ I had no idea, but I had to do _something._ T’Challa grabbed my arm before I could take two steps. I whirled to face him. Panic constricted my chest. T’Challa’s voice remained calm, “Do you trust me?”

 

I blinked, the question cutting through rising tension, “Of course.” I would never have put the sanity of my best friend in their hands otherwise. I gritted my teeth and took a deep breath. “What’s going to happen now?”

 

“We are going to leave.” I looked to my friend one last time, and followed the king through the maze of halls back to the surface and main building. We passed multiple civilians, but none bothered us. I got a few odd looks, but nothing else. At least, I don’t think there was anything else. I was a bit distracted by the rundown of the situation T’Challa was giving me.

 

“He is lucid more often than not, but we are still having difficulties. Many of his triggers appear to be random, and his fits are dangerous to all involved. Tranquilizers are only used in potentially fatal situations. While effective in the short term, they often trigger bouts of confusion, aggression, and extreme paranoia once worn off. In some cases it will even cause the fit to continue once he regains full consciousness.”

 

I nodded in acknowledgement.

 

“Please tell me there’s some good news?” I said, “Not that I’m not grateful! I am, really and truly. I’m just-”

 

T’Challa nodded, cutting me off. “I am aware of your concern.” His mouth hardened to a thin line. “I will not say there is no reason for you to be. Repairing the mind is not so simple as repairing the body.”

 

I stiffened. His expression softened slightly.

 

“He has been responding well to attempts at EDMR and NLP.”

 

I had a vague idea of what those were, so we definitely had _something_ going. We were moving forward. That’s good. That’s good. I was lost in a loop of that thought for the next minute, not noticing when the grass and dirt changed to tile and carpet.

 

Tony took no time in accosting me the moment we got back, “Why were you keeping these people from me?! I haven’t had such an in-depth discussion about topology and magnets since… well, ever!”

 

“First, get out of my face.” He obliged, albeit with the help of Thor pulling him away, “Second, you have less self control than an excited puppy.” Tony opened his mouth as to contradict me, but thought better. Or -more likely- he saw the rest of the room was in agreement.

 

“Fine. Be that way. I’ll be over there.” He turned heel and paced off towards a young -surprisingly so considering everything going on- lady. T’Challa glanced at the two, fear flashing in his eyes for a moment. A short shake of the head cleared it, and he turned to address the adults in the room, “With that settled, may we begin?”

 

*o*O*o*

 

It was a headache and a half.

 

I could deal with aliens, Nazi’s, confused bears, and terrorists, but this… I had experience fighting diseases. I wasn’t the healthiest kid when I was younger. The serum helped, but I couldn’t do a thing when a friend was down. I’d seen what a virus could do to a squad of even the deadliest men. All it took was one open cut…

 

“What are you looking at me for?” Loki’s indignant protest drew me out of any further reminiscing. Thank the lord.

 

“Oh, I don’t know. You only have a reputation for attempting world domination and general chaos.” Clint snapped.

 

“Oi! I don’t _attempt_ general chaos.”

 

“Can’t argue with that.” Muttered Clint. He was still upset with the snake for quite a few things, and had all right to be. I wasn’t exactly happy with him either. Thor’s vouching for the reptile was the only thing keeping us from his throat.

 

Loki either didn’t hear or ignored the man, “Besides, this one isn’t me. It’s far too hot.” I raised the other eyebrow. Loki had the _gall_ to give me an affronted side eye, “I’m a _frost_ giant. I need to take the form of a reptile in order to even survive in this heat. Why did you think I remain a snake?”

 

“It’s your natural form?” Chimed in Natasha. The holographic map still had her main attention. A large fissure ran two thirds the length of the map from the top right side down to the left. The contagion started at the large end of it. A large swath of forest had to be cut down around there to keep it from spreading.

 

Everyone sent out to oversee the operation had fallen ill. A nasty bacterial infection had taken hold. As it that wasn’t bad enough, an opportunistic virus wasn’t helping matters.

 

It was out job to find whatever was spreading this thing and neutralize it. The former king had sent out his own team. When only half returned, T’Chaka went out himself, only to drag himself back, minus one leg and plus some venom. The old king wasn’t in any condition to help.

 

It had taken a rhinoceros to make the antivenom.

 

I was _not_ looking forward to meeting this thing.

 

“I’m back!” Tony chirped, practically skipping into the room.

 

Speaking of headaches…

 

“How nice of you to join us. Would you like the cliff notes version?”

 

Tony waved me off. “Nah, Shuri filled me in. And on that note, I have two questions. Okay, I have more, but let’s focus on two for now. One, do you have a spare theremin? Or tibia? It’s a matter of life and reanimation.”

 

T’Challa had an air of one used to dealing with a Tony-like person. The poor, poor ma-… wait. I realized something: that means there’s two of them. There were no words to describe the stomach-churning terror I was experiencing. Every muscle in my body stiffened in fear. I couldn’t have said something if I tried.

 

T’Challa was made of stronger stuff, “We can acquire one. What is your other question?”

 

“Do you, scratch that, does _anyone_ know where Rin is?”

 

*o*O*o*

 

As it turns out, he did. T’Challa sent out a drone to track the pair before we even got to the main building. Bruce had to physically restrain Stark from grabbing the controller/monitor. Like everything else here it was far more advanced than anything I’d seen before or _before._

 

We were near the South East of the map, Rin around the middle North.

 

“One more question: how?” Tony asked.

 

“Tracker.” T’Challa said, eyes not moving from the display and voice not moving an octave. We were watching the smaller of two displays in the room, the other attended by a team of at least a dozen people. And a parrot. The parrot was reading a chart and marking off sections in marker. Blue marker. Why did the color bother me more than the fact a parrot was doing the marking?

 

Shuri chimed in, “That, and we happen to have drones sweeping the woods for madame toad.” Said drone showed Rin and Kuro sitting on a tree branch about sixty feet in the air. Kuro had half of some deer-sized mammal in his mouth, and Rin was munching on _something_. It was difficult to tell due to a number of factors, but I’d put my money on either a small lizard or some exotic pinecone-mango hybrid.

 

Tony perked up at the mention of multiple drones, “How many?”

 

Shuri’s eyes lit up with an all-to-familiar fire. I glanced around for the nearest shelter in case of explosion. She practically dragged the man to the side. The following conversation was far too low and quick to catch, but any idiot could see nothing good would come out of it.

 

Natasha, our level headed port in the storm of ADD inventors, directed the group’s attention back to the display, “Does this thing have audio?”

 

Instead of answering Shuri dashed over, paused to roll her eyes, and pushed a button.

 

“-elling you, I don’t have a hoarding problem, yer the one with the hoarding problem!”

 

“Meow”

 

“Yes, ya do! I know about the space behind the wall!”

 

“Mew.”

 

“No, the other space.”

 

“Mawr.”

 

“No, the other other space. Ya know the one.”

 

“Meawr. RrrrRRRRrrr.”

 

“What do you mean it’s not yers?!”

 

“Mew.”

 

“Well, it it’s not yers, and it’s not mine, then… um… when we get back, we’re doing a sweep of the place. And yer helping.”

 

I couldn’t help the smile creeping over my face. Whatever species they were, those two were certainly close. A beeping across the room drew the group’s attention to the main display and ramrod-stiff posture of the people attending it.

 

A high, tight voice cut through sudden silence, “Found it.”


	27. Well, that Escalated, De-escalated, and Re-escalated Quickly

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rin POV

If I were pretty much anyone else, I’d be complaining about the heat. But I wasn’t anyone else, I was built to thrive in far hotter. The humidity was another beast entirely. I was drenched, and it did not feel good. There was little I could do. At least the din of billions of bugs and at least three parrots had settled though. Or maybe I’d gotten used to it. Probably the latter.

 

I sat against the trunk and lamented my friend’s thought process*. Kuro’s order of operations seemed to be: 1a. Rescue partner 1b. Potentially declare war 2. Cimb tree 3. Get food.

 

I vetoed eating the nest at the end of the branch. That left us hungry, lost, and in danger. On second thought, that last one really goes without saying. It would probably be easier to point out when we  _ weren’t _ in hazard’s way. As for the first one, Kuro left to hunt. I considered running after him, but I: a. wasn’t sure if my claws were strong enough to support my weight down, and b. wasn’t invited. The last bit ticked me off more than it probably should have. He’d better have a damn fine explanation when he got back.

 

Seconds ticked by. My mental state plummeted fast. My fingers itched under my nails. Nerves screeched about non-existent enemies right behind me. Kuro was gone, I was alone. I didn’t know where I was. A numb burning blossomed at the tip of my tail. Anyone could be out there.

 

Squawking interrupted my spiraling thoughts and drew my attention to the end of the branch. Right, baby eagles. I crawled over to the chicks. They were some of the most ridiculous things I’d ever seen**, like muppets made of cotton fluff and screaming. They were perfectly adorable and the distraction I needed. A goofy grin made its home on my face and I cooed at the babies. The blue flicker dancing on my tail faded.

 

A scream split the ambient din. I backed up. I hoped Kuro got back before the mamma eagle. Flies, leaves, and some unidentifiable cross between a butterfly and tarantula drifted about the breeze. I whipped my tail in the wind, fresh air under the fur momentarily getting rid of the ick.

 

Not a minute later my hopes were answered. Kuro was back, and judging by the scent of blood and lack of griping, he had food. I looked back just in time to catch a bird best described as a glamorous punk chicken before it plummeted to the forest floor. I nodded my thanks and busied plucking our meal. It wasn’t too big, but if Kuro shrunk down it would make an okay meal for both of us. I frowned at the meat in my hands. I’d never cooked this bird before, but it smelled like weird chicken. I wasn’t trying to be unthankful, but cooks habits were itching in the back of my skull. If I had some spice, I could make something half  _ decent. _

 

Wait, sesame grew in rainforests, right? Right. I might not be able to identify a ghoul’s fatal verse, but I knew my way around spices. I turned, just in time to watch Kuro climb back down. Without me. Again.

 

“Oi! Where do ya think yer going?!” I sniped, receiving no response. “Fine. Don’t answer me. Just, stay safe and keep an eye out for sesame, okay?”

 

Getting mad at him wouldn’t do anything. At least this time I could do something productive with my time. The bird wasn’t going to pluck itself, after all.

 

The iron scent of blood seeped into the canopy air. Against my will, my saliva glands kicked into overtime. I’d already plucked the bird that something registered. I smelled too much blood. The branch shook and Kuro was back. Just in time too, if the approaching screeches of a pissed off protective plumed parent were anything to go by.

 

I jumped on Kuro’s back and we were at the forest floor in seconds. And by “we” I mean me, Kuro, and the dead thing Kuro hauled back. Because of course my cat wouldn’t be satisfied with just catching the canary, he had to go after the forest’s hamster as well. I couldn’t help rolling my eyes at his “antics.”

 

_ “What? Capybara are the largest known rodent.” _

 

I shook my head, part in disbelief, but mostly amusement, “I’m just wondering where you found one in Africa.”

 

Regardless of its origin, it tasted like pork. I ate my fill and silently lamented my lack of sesame. Kuro made quick work of the rest and soon we were off to find the demon. Of course, neither of us had any idea of where we were. The view from the top of the tree hadn’t been helpful there, we were completely surrounded by trees and rivers. Hmm…

 

“Hey Kuro, what do you think of following the riverbank?” I asked. He had no qualms so long as I walked on the side with the water. The only thing left was to find a river.

 

* * *

 

It didn’t take us too long to find the river, only two hours and five potential threats to our lives if my calculations were correct. They probably weren’t. Math’s never been my strong suit. We’d been following the river for another hour or so and gunk was building under my claws.

 

The sun beat down, relentless and uncaring. The river glittered, rippling as a snake easily the length of a bus wound lazily over the surface. I set my feet in the water. Soon a my tose were the subject of investigation by small fish. They were such mesmerizing little things. The brush rustled as Kuro lay next to me.

 

We sat at the riverside, Kuro finishing his grooming when an iridescent sheen caught my eye. I glanced to the underbrush, expecting another neon frog. Instead I found, something. I wasn’t sure what it was and crouched down to get a better look at the thing. It looked like a ribbon of mother of pearl, or maybe opal, but it was embedded in a tree root. It smelled nice, like a freshly made bed and cool pillow. I know the analogy makes little sense to most folks, but its the most accurate way to describe it.

 

“Hey Kuro, take a look at this.” I called my friend over. “Do ya know what this is?”

 

He took a sniff and promptly sat down.

 

“Kuro?”

 

His eyes glassed over. I poked him once, twice. By the third poke he shuddered and snapped out of the trance. Quick as a shot he was on all fours again and backing away the root. Only once his hind-paw stepped in the river did he stop.

 

_ “Stay away. Its, I don’t know. I think its some kind of drug.” _

 

I joined him in -what I could only hope was- a safe zone. If our luck was anything to go by, the “drug” was some kind of toxin. Attached to the lure of a giant land anglerfish. With friends. We left promptly.

 

It only took five minutes for another shine to show up. I thought it was a fish for a moment, but the gleam didn’t rush off as we approached. This one was embedded in a small stone at the bottom of a relatively shallow portion of the river. We picked up the pace after that.

 

The shines increased as we kept moving. First one every ten minutes, then one every five, two every five, one every minute. At the one every minute mark something caught my ear. A wet popping noise. I couldn’t identify it, but it was getting louder as we kept going. I almost gagged when we got to the next riverbend. Kuro stiffened and we shared a look. I put my hand on Kurikara’s sheath. We rounded another bend in the river and  _ it _ was sitting right there.

 

I could only assume it was the mamma of the frog from before, and Mamma was big. Very big. Not as big as the  _ other _ rot demon I’d fought, but still a solid  _ too #%&!ing big _ on the big-not big scale.

 

Fleshy, hose-like tendrils hang from her belly and legs. Rolls upon rolls of lumpy flesh sat perfectly still, scent faint due to tailwind, but still horrid. Like a never cleaned hospital. One massive eye flicked far too quickly, landing on us. Instincts screamed and hit the brakes, rooting me in to the spot.

 

Another squishy pop. I finally got a good look at what was making it. Another toad -albeit a much, much smaller one- wriggled from mamma’s back like a nightmare zit. If I were fully human, I’d probably have thrown up right then and there. As it was, only demonic indifference kept me from screaming.

 

Another emotion flared, one I didn’t expect. Hope. Hope for getting home. Because if the Rot King’s third lieutenant could get through, maybe others could too. Maybe my friends could find me. Maybe I could go back the way mamma came in.

 

Or maybe something  _ else _ would rear its ugly head(s). The new-born hope sputtered under the thought, but clung to life. This being was relatively familiar. It was a piece of home. One I’d have preferred stay away, but it was home.

 

The new-born(?)  _ toad _ on the other hand, hopped from Mamma’s back to splash down in a pool of shimmers. It lay motionless in the pool, Mamma eventually shifting her behemoth form to nudge it downstream. Behind her, a giant crevice was visible in my peripheral vision for only a moment. She shifted back and it was gone.

 

Her massive head snapped toward us, body motionless.

 

_ “Where am I?” _ A pleasant alto asked.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *On second thought, I probably would have done the same thing.
> 
>  
> 
> **And I’ve seen Bon with bed head

**Author's Note:**

> If you want to see more -like I do- I'm gonna really need some support on this one. I really want to continue this, but the next chapter's kicking my butt right now. I'll do what I can though, and the comments really do help. Thank you.


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